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A complete timeline of relevant events on 09/11/2001.

2020.08.17 08:26 Worm2120 A complete timeline of relevant events on 09/11/2001.

Lets see if this post gets buried and downvoted instantly like my last post.
V: A building is a symbol, as is the act of destroying it. Symbols are given power by people. Alone, a symbol is meaningless, but with enough people, blowing up a building can change the world.

years leading up to 09/11/2001:
-1991: White House Is Protected From Airplane Attack During Gulf War
While a battery of surface-to-air-missiles remains permanently on the roof of the White House, the rest of these defenses are apparently removed after the war is over. Yet even though counterterrorism officials later call the alerts in the summer of 2001 “the most urgent in decades,” similar defensive measures will apparently not be taken.
- 1998: Training Exercise Held at the White House, Based Around Militants Using a Plane as a Weapon
Counterterrorism “tsar” Richard Clarke chairs a tabletop exercise at the White House, involving a scenario where anti-American militants fill a Learjet with explosives, and then fly it on a suicide mission toward a target in Washington, DC. Officials from the Pentagon, Secret Service, and FAA attend, and are asked how they would stop such a threat. Pentagon officials say they could launch fighters from Langley Air Force Base, Virginia, but would need authorization from the president to shoot the plane down, and currently there is no system to do this. The 9/11 Commission later states: “There was no clear resolution of the problem at the exercise.”
- 1999-September 11, 2001: NORAD Exercise Simulates Crashes into US Buildings; One of Them Is the World Trade Center
One of these imagined targets is the World Trade Center. According to NORAD, these scenarios are regional drills, rather than regularly scheduled continent-wide exercises. They utilize “[n]umerous types of civilian and military aircraft” as mock hijacked aircraft, and test “track detection and identification; scramble and interception; hijack procedures; internal and external agency coordination; and operational security and communications security procedures.” The main difference between these drills and the 9/11 attacks is that the planes in the drills are coming from another country, rather than from within the US. Before 9/11, NORAD reportedly conducts four major exercises at headquarters level per year. Most of them are said to include a hijack scenario.
- Between October 24 and 28, 2000: Military Holds Exercise Rehearsing Response to a Plane Crash at the Pentagon
Pentagon and Arlington County emergency responders assemble in the office of the Secretary of Defenses conference room in the Pentagon for a mass casualty exercise (“MASCAL”). The exercise involves three mock-scenarios. One is of a commercial airliner crashing into the Pentagon and killing 342 people, while the other two involve a terrorist attack at the Pentagons subway stop and a construction accident. The exercises are conducted using a large-scale model of the Pentagon with a model airplane literally on fire in the central courtyard of the building. An Army medic who participates in the mock attack calls it “a real good scenario and one that could happen easily,” while a fire chief notes: “You have to plan for this. Look at all the air traffic around here.”
- May 2001: Medics Train for Airplane Hitting Pentagon
The Tri-Service DiLorenzo Health Care Clinic and the Air Force Flight Medicine Clinic, both housed within the Pentagon, train for a scenario involving a hijacked 757 airliner being crashed into the Pentagon. It is reported that the purpose of the training is “to fine-tune their emergency preparedness.”
- April 17-26, 2001: Joint Chiefs of Staff Holds Exercise for Continuity of Government if US is Attacked; Proposal to Simulate Airliner Crash into Pentagon Rejected
The Joint Chiefs of Staff holds a large, worldwide exercise called Positive Force, which focuses on the Defense Department's ability to conduct large-scale military operations and coordinate these operations. The 2001 Positive Force exercise is a “continuity of operations exercise,” meaning it deals with government contingency plans to keep working in the event of an attack on the US. Over a dozen government agencies, including NORAD, are invited to participate. The exercise prepares them for various scenarios, including non-combatant evacuation operations, cyber attacks, rail disruption, and power outages. Apparently, one of the scenarios that was considered for this exercise involved “a terrorist group hijack[ing] a commercial airliner and fly[ing] it into the Pentagon.” But the proposed scenario, thought up by a group of Special Operations personnel trained to think like terrorists, was rejected. Joint Staff action officers and White House officials said the additional scenario is either “too unrealistic” or too disconnected to the original intent of the exercise.
- June 1-2, 2001: Military Conducts Exercises Based on Scenario in which Cruise Missiles Are Launched against US
Bin Laden is pictured on the cover of the first Amalgam Virgo exercise. 📷 The US military conducts Amalgam Virgo 01, a multi-agency planning exercise sponsored by NORAD involving the hypothetical scenario of a cruise missile being launched by “a rogue [government] or somebody” from a barge off the East Coast. Bin Laden is pictured on the cover of the proposal for the exercise. The exercise takes place at Tyndall Air Force Base in Florida. The next Amalgam Virgo exercise, scheduled to take place the following year, will involve two simultaneous commercial aircraft hijackings. Planning for the exercises begins before 9/11.
poster for event on June 1-2, 2001 feat. Osama Bin Laden.
- Early August 2001: Mass Casualty Exercise at the Pentagon Includes a Plane Hitting the Building
A mass casualty exercise, involving a practice evacuation, is held at the Pentagon. General Lance Lord of US Air Force Space Command, one of the participants in the exercises, later recalls: “[It was] purely a coincidence, the scenario for that exercise included a plane hitting the building.” Lord will also say that on 9/11, “our assembly points were fresh in our minds” thanks to this practice. People and organizations involved: Lance Lord

Did you catch that? re-read the above bold statement. There are no coincidences.
Every event that took place before 9/11 COULD be considered a coincidence by almost all people who believe the MSM narrative of 9/11. Therefore, I will mostly be focusing on a classified (at the time) military intelligence task force known as Able Danger.
Able Danger was a data mining software started by LIWA after finding a large presence of Chinese corporations fronting as US companies to mine data inside the US and gain intel. Able Danger was the United States counter to this Chinese data mining issue.
In the fall of 1999, Able Danger was officially created to gain information on Al-Qaeda on the orders of 4 star General Peter Schoomaker and Hugh Shelton, leader of SOCOM.
Using computers, the unit collects huge amounts of data in a technique called “data mining.” They get information from such sources as al-Qaeda Internet chat rooms, news accounts, web sites, and financial records. Using sophisticated software, they compare this with government records such as visa applications by foreign tourists, to find any correlations and depict these visually.

January-May 2000: CIA Has Atta Under Surveillance

Hijacker Mohamed Atta is put under surveillance by the CIA while living in Germany. [Berliner Zeitung, 9/24/01; Focus, 9/24/01; Agence France-Presse, 9/22/01] He is “reportedly observed buying large quantities of chemicals in Frankfurt, apparently for the production of explosives [and/or] for biological warfare.” “The US agents reported to have trailed Atta are said to have failed to inform the German authorities about their investigation,” even as the Germans are investigating many of his associates. “The disclosure that Atta was being trailed by police long before 11 September raises the question why the attacks could not have been prevented with the man's arrest.” [Observer, 9/30/01] A German newspaper adds that Atta is able to get a visa into the US on May 18. According to some reports, the surveillance stops when he leaves for the US at the start of June. However, “experts believe that the suspect [remains] under surveillance in the United States.” [Berliner Zeitung, 9/24/01] A German intelligence official also states, “We can no longer exclude the possibility that the Americans wanted to keep an eye on Atta after his entry in the US” [Focus, 9/24/01] This correlates with a Newsweek claim that US officials knew Atta was a “known [associate] of Islamic terrorists well before [9/11].” [Newsweek, 9/20/01] However, a congressional inquiry later reports that the US “intelligence community possessed no intelligence or law enforcement information linking 16 of the 19 hijackers [including Atta] to terrorism or terrorist groups.” [9/11 Congressional Inquiry, 9/20/02] In 2005, after accounts of the Able Danger program learning Atta's name become news, newspaper account will neglect to mention this prior report about Atta being known by US intelligence. For instance, the New York Times will report, “The account [about Able Danger] is the first assertion that Mr. Atta, an Egyptian who became the lead hijacker in the plot, was identified by any American government agency as a potential threat before the Sept. 11 attacks” (see August 9, 2005) . [New York Times, 8/9/05]

January-February 2000: Secret Military Unit Identifies al-Qaeda ‘Brooklyn’ Cell; Mohamed Atta is a Member

Its clear by now that Able Danger has Identified an immense amount of data on the future hijackers living in New York, over a year before the attacks and after being seen purchasing chemicals for chemical warefare.

April 2000: LIWA and Able Danger Face Trouble After LIWA Connects Prominent US Figures to Chinese Military

A 1999 study by the US Army's Land Information Warfare Activity (LIWA) to look into possible Chinese front companies in the US seeking technology for the Chinese military created controversy and was ordered destroyed in November 1999 (see Mid-1999-November 1999). However, apparently Rep. Curt Weldon (R) protests, and the issue finally comes to a head during this month. One result of this controversy will be what Maj. Erik Kleinsmith will later call “severely restricted” support for Able Danger, including a temporary end to LIWA support (see April 2000) In an April 14, 2000 memorandum from the legal counsel in the Office of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, Capt. Michael Lohr writes that the concern over the LIWA data mining study raises privacy concerns: “Preliminary review of subject methodology raised the possibility that LIWA ‘data mining’ would potentially access both foreign intelligence (FI) information and domestic information relating to US citizens (i.e. law enforcement, tax, customs, immigration, etc... ... I recognize that an argument can be made that LIWA is not ‘collecting’ in the strict sense (i.e. they are accessing public areas of the Internet and non-FI federal government databases of already lawfully collected information). This effort would, however, have the potential to pull together into a single database a wealth of privacy-protected US citizen information in a more sweeping and exhaustive manner than was previously contemplated.” Additionally, the content of the study is another reason why it caused what Weldon calls a “wave of controversy.” The study had connected future National Security Advisor and Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice, former Defense Secretary William Perry, and other prominent US citizens to business transactions with Chinese military officials.(see Mid-1999-November 1999). [Washington Times, 10/9/05; Washington Times, 9/22/05; New York Post, 8/27/05; Curt Weldon Press Conference, 9/17/05; Erik Kleinsmith Statement, 9/21/05] One article on the subject will comment, “Sources familiar with Able Danger say the project was shut down because it could have led to the exposure of a separate secret data mining project focusing on US citizens allegedly transferring super-sensitive US technology illegally to the Chinese government.” [WTOP, 9/1/05] A massive destruction of data from Able Danger and LIWA's data mining efforts will follow, one month later (see May-June 2000).

May-June 2000: Army Officer Told to Destroy Able Danger Documents

Maj. Eric Kleinsmith, chief of intelligence for the Land Information Warfare Activity (LIWA) unit, is ordered to destroy data and documents related to a military intelligence program set up to gather information about al-Qaeda. The program, called Able Danger, has identified Mohamed Atta and three other future hijackers as potential threats (see January-February 2000). According to Kleinsmith, by April 2000 it has collected “an immense amount of data for analysis that allowed us to map al-Qaeda as a worldwide threat with a surprisingly significant presence within the United States.”
The representative also acknowledges that regulations would have probably allowed the Able Danger information to be shared with law enforcement agencies before its destruction. Asked why this was not done, he responds, “I can't tell you.” [CNET News, 9/21/05] The order to destroy the data and documents is given to Kleinsmith by Army Intelligence and Security Command General Counsel Tony Gentry, who jokingly tells him, “Remember to delete the data—or you'll go to jail.” [Government Executive, 9/21/05] The quantity of information destroyed is later described as “2.5 terabytes,” about as much as one-fourth of all the printed materials in the Library of Congress. [Associated Press, 9/16/05] Other records associated with the unit are allegedly destroyed in March 2001 and spring 2004
2.5 TERABYTES IN THE YEAR 2000. The amount of data that was destroyed... and of course it was just a joke, but Kleinsmith was told hed be fired if he didnt destroy all of it.
Okay now I could speculate for hours and hours on the amount of foreknowledge but i'd like to move to another section of our story:

-Tuesday, September 11th, 2001.

(6:00 a.m.): Bush Interview or Assassination Attempt?

President Bush has just spent the night at Colony Beach and Tennis Resort on Longboat Key, Florida. Surface-to-air missiles have been placed on the roof of the resort (it is not known if this was typical of presidential security before 9/11, or if this was related to increased terror warnings). [Sarasota Herald-Tribune, 9/10/02] Bush wakes up around 6:00 a.m. and is preparing for his morning jog. [MSNBC, 10/27/02; Daily Telegraph, 12/16/01; New York Times, 9/16/01 (B)] A van occupied by men of Middle Eastern descent arrives at the Colony Beach Resort, stating they have a “poolside” interview with the president. They do not have an appointment and they are turned away. [Longboat Observer, 9/26/01] Some question whether this was an assassination attempt modeled on the one used on Afghan leader Ahmed Massoud two days earlier (see September 9, 2001). [Time, 8/4/02 (B)] Longboat Key Fire Marshal Carroll Mooneyhan was reported to have overheard the conversation between the men and the Secret Service, but he later denies the report. The newspaper that reported this, the Longboat Observer stands by its story. [St. Petersburg Times, 7/4/04] Witnesses recall seeing Mohamed Atta in the Longboat Key Holiday Inn a short distance from where Bush was staying as recently as September 7, the day Bush's Sarasota appearance was publicly announced.
Why would a van of middle eastern men want to meet with bush on this particular morning... when bush has increased security for no reason...
(6:30 a.m.): NORAD on Alert for Emergency Exercises
Lieutenant Colonel Dawne Deskins, regional mission control chief, begins a large scale exercise known as: Vigilant Guardian. -THIS IS DIFFERENT THAN GLOBAL GUARDIAN WHICH IS ANOTHER EXERCISE I WILL COVER SHORTLY-
In contrast to the 9/11 Commission Report - Michael Ruppert has characterized Vigilant Guardian as "a hijacking drill, not a cold war exercise". He cites direct quotes from participants which indicate "that the drill involved hijacked airliners rather than Russian Bombers". General Arnold, Tech. Sgt. W. Powel and Lt. Col. Dwane Deskins have stated that when they first were informed about hijacked airliners they thought it was "part of the exercise".[1]

(6:45 a.m.)

“Approximately two hours prior to the first attack”, at least two workers at the instant messaging company Odigo receive messages warning of the WTC attack. This Israeli owned company has its headquarters two blocks from the WTC.
(6:47 A.M.) Fire alarms in WTC 7 placed to "test mode".
While these extra security measures were being implemented, another anomalous event occurred at WTC 7, a 47-story office building located 370 feet north of the North Tower. Specifically, every morning for the seven days before September 11, the building's fire alarm system was placed on "test condition." On September 11, it was again put on test condition, at 6:47 a.m., and only returned to normal monitoring, automatically, eight hours later, at 2:47 p.m.
Around 8 A.M. "Dancing Israelis" First seen in New Jersey Parking lot
The five men were detained by Sergeant Scott DeCarlo of the New Jersey Police Department around 4pm on September 11th.[7]. The police and FBI field agents became suspicious when they found maps of the city with certain places highlighted, box cutters (the same items that the 19 hijackers supposedly used), $4,700 cash stuffed in a sock, and foreign passports. Police also told a New Jersey local paper, The Bergen Record, that bomb sniffing dogs were brought to the van and that they reacted as if they had smelled explosives. According to the Jewish Weekly Forward the FBI later determined that at least two of the Israelis (Sivan Kurzberg and Paul Kurzberg) were agents of the Mossad.[8][9]

(After 8:37 a.m.)

NORAD gives the command to scramble fighters after Flight 11 after being notified (see (8:37 a.m.)). Lt. Colonel Dawne Deskins at NEADS tells Colonel Robert Marr, head of NEADS, “I have FAA on the phone, the shout line, Boston Center. They said they have a hijacked aircraft.” Marr then calls Major General Larry Arnold at NORAD's command Center in Tyndall Air Force Base, Florida, and says, “Boss, I need to scramble [fighters at] Otis [Air National Guard Base].” Arnold recalls, “I said go ahead and scramble them, and we'll get the authorities later.” Arnold then calls NORAD headquarters to report. [ABC News, 9/11/02, Independent Commission Report, 6/17/04] Then, seeing the proper authorization, NEADS calls Canadian Captain Mike Jellinek at NORAD's Colorado headquarters. Jellinek is sitting near Canadian Air Force Major General Rick Findley, director of combat operations there. Findley's staff is “already on high alert” because of a joint US-Canada exercise known as Vigilant Guardian (see (6:30 a.m.)), and another joint exercise known as Operation Northern Vigilance (see (9:00 a.m.))


The Icing on the cake: 5 israeli men arrested with a van packed with explosives on George Washington bridge.
This event has nearly been memory-holed from the population. And I deem it my responsibility to remind the population what happened on this horrific day.
CNN video of reporting.
ABC report as well
Anyway, all reports have the same story: 2-3 men being arrested on the George Washington bridge PACKED with explosives. Reports state that amount of explosives could've "done severe damage to the bridge". Now I cant find a source for what was said after the Israeli men were arrested, but I can remember from memory what was said, i'd love if someone can confirm my picture perfect memory correct on this:
"We are not the enemy. The Palestinians are the problem. We are your friends."
something along those lines were said to the arresting officer. In FOIA requests of this event, it has been deemed "Top Secret".

Other interesting facts and videos:
3 facts that PROVE controlled demolition.
48 disturbing facts about 9/11
Very important information on WTC 7.

9/11 single handed, proves that we as the people are brainwashed into believing everything you see. This needs to be known.

One last thing...

Terror Links In Tenn. Mystery?
Shortly before 1 a.m. on Feb. 10, witnesses saw flames erupt from the back seat of a 1992 Acura Legend as it crawled along a two-lane road skirting farm fields in the little Tennessee town of Piperton.
The driver breathed in the flames, her lungs searing, as the car veered off the road and came to rest against a utility pole near the Mississippi state line. There were no skid marks or furrows in the grass to indicate the driver had hit the brakes.
A witness rushed up and pulled open the car door, but the driver was not moving. She appeared to be already dead. When the first volunteer firefighters arrived, the car was engulfed in flames.
wait for it...
Shortly after she showed up for work, a man from the Toyota, Khaled Odtllah, a native of Jerusalem, joined the morning rush into the building. According to an FBI affidavit, he was clutching four signed driver's license applications.
With Odtllah, police found Mostafa Said Abou-Shahi, Mohammed Fares, Sakher Hammad and his cousin Abdelmuhsen Mahmid Hammad. An unnamed juvenile was also taken into custody.
A few months ago, the contets of Sakher Hammad's wallet would have seemed innocuous: Two video rental cards; two major credit cards; a card designating him a “charter member” of Team Ford Racing; a New York plumber's business card.
And a pass, dated 09/05/01 that gave him access to the lower basement of One World Trade Center.
Authorities say Sakher Hammad told them he is plumber, and that he and his cousin were in the tower to work on the sprinkler system. New York authorities have no record of a plumber's license for either cousin.
A business card in Sakher Hammad's wallet was for a Magic Plumbing & Heating Inc. in Brooklyn. It advertises “custom kitchens, bathrooms, water heaters, boilers, repiping” - generally residential in nature.
A call to the business produced only a full voice-mailbox for someone named “Rocky.” Using a reverse telephone directory, the AP found a list of phone numbers at the company's street address, all of them for individuals, among them Sakher Hammad.

Family members have refused to talk. A wary elderly neighbor said, “I believe somebody killed her.”
Let me leave you with this thought: This woman engulfed in flames out of no where and was burned beyond recognition before the car even halted to a stop, gently I might add.
Isn't it weird that the twin towers just collapsed out of no where, with molten steel spewing for weeks to months after the attacks?
Kinda makes you wonder if those "middle eastern men" had some left over presents from their WTC visit to "fix the sprinkler system" from 09/05/2001.

Let me know if I left anything out. Honestly, I could make infinite amounts of posts about 9/11 because of the amount of info here to grasp. Yet, none of what Ive posted has been disprove yet... hmmm.
Wow I havent checked this since last night before I went to bed. Thank you so much everyone for the feedback and rewards!!(:
I love you all.
submitted by Worm2120 to conspiracy [link] [comments]

2020.08.09 21:58 Poniesandproteins Scammer: The comprehensive timeline

Decided to take a scroll stroll through CC's Instagram, and I've compiled with dates what I think is the complete timeline for Scammer. I think I might be missing a few things, as CC does tend to delete posts and edit captions, and these screenshots of the grid are all from today (8/9/2020). Please add on images in the comments of anything you have saved that I may have missed and what dates those occurred at! I've also specified where each image has come from (the imgur album should be in order), so it will say next to the update if she posted in on the grid (shorthand= BG). I skimmed all her captions since December for any scammer mention, so if it's not included, no other update exists (currently.) Links to individual images are posted as "X" next to the description.
I will continue to update ths post until Scammer has been finalized and received by customers.
The full receipt gallery: Receipt-Imgur
The Scammer Timeline:
12/17/2019: Caroline has AWWL listed on her site as coming soon. Scammer is not yet conceptualized- website X
12/18/2019: Caroline talks about publishing something and is worried that no one will read it-BG X
12/23/2019: Caroline announces a “small book” that will self-publish in January-BG X
12/29/2019: Posts first scammer cover and announced the presale will start on Jan 15th, i.e. the scammiversary-BG X
12/31/2019: There will be two separate books, AWWL and Scammer. Scammer will cover all of 2019.- BG X
1/7/2020: Caroline announces she will stay in Sarasota until she finishes scammer. It is unclear what day she returned to NYC-BG X
1/14/2020: Announces preorders for Scammer will start tomorrow-BG X
1/15/2020: launches and preorders officially open, with the infamous cover reveal coming soon-BG X
1/15/2020: Caroline gets press coverage about scammer, from sites like Buzzfeed, Nylon, and Guardian. None of the press gets an excerpt or review copy of the text.-BG (Nylon) (Paper) (Dazed) (Buzzfeed) (Guardian)
1/18/2020: Scammer is now available for international preorder-BG X
1/21/2020: Announces scammer will only be sold as preorders, and not carried in any store.-BG X
1/27/2020: All orders of scammer will be signed with a “love note” from caroline.-BG X
1/29/2020: Claims again that all copies of scammer will come with handwritten notes-BG X
1/29/2020: Claims AWWL is still under contract with Flatiron, and is a different manuscript than Scammer-BG X
1/31/2020: Announces first “giveaway” of a free special edition BB if you purchase 4 copies of scammer.-BG X
2/14/2020: a buzzfeed article is published in which Caroline claims Scammer would be out "as late as April" but will probably be out sooner. (Buzzfeed Pt. 2)
2/23/2020: Seven days until preorders for Scammer end “forever” -BG X
2/23/2020: Typos are my brand hats are announced as included with the purchase of two copies of scammer. Caroline claims that they will not be for sale but are an exclusive gift with scammer. -BG X
2/23/2020: Caroline posts the lonely boy zines hardcover for scammer. She does not offer any corrections/answers in the comments of people asking if this is the actual printed manuscript, implying by omission it is.-BG X
2/24/2020: Cancels Sarasota trip to edit the scammer manuscript in New York instead. Claims it will take 1 week. -BG X
2/24/2020: Announces that if you buy 3 copies of scammer, you will receive a mantra card (separate from the handwritten notes included in all copies, regardless of quantity ordered). Also announces that the free gifts stack, i.e. if you order 4 copies, you get the hat, card and BB. -BG X
2/28/2020: The first order of Scammer sold out (???) and it is now up for restock- BG X
3/1/2020: “today is the last day you can buy scammer” -BGX
3/2/2020: extends preorder deadline to today. Claims she will travel to NYC in March to sign the copies, and will ship “ON TIME” in early April.-BGX
3/11/2020: updated added to the website that preorders of scammer will end on 2/26/2019 and the book will ship in spring 2020, tentatively on 4/1/2020. - website.X
3/19/2020: Posts cover reveal of scammer, which is the same as the previous cover art posted. Claims book is copy edited and ready to go, but the printers are closed. This is the first BG announcement of refunds being available by emailing Ari. Claims all preorders have finally closed, 17 days after her initially announcing preorders are closed. -BG X
4/1/2020 (exact date unclear): Posts announcement on her website that she is combining scammer and IAMCC into one manuscript. IAMCC will be free if you have paid for scammer and is only available online. -websiteX
6/1/2020: Takes a break from scammer because of BLM?-story post X
6/8/2020: “Scammer is shipping later this month.” Caroline is no longer signing the book copies, and instead is switching to the “sticker fortune cookies”. Still claims all copies will come with something with her signature on.-BG X
6/24/2020: confirms in comment thread on a grid post that she is still planning on shipping Scammer by the end of the month. This has since been deleted and is no longer on her account. (Citation needed)
6/28/2020: Finished signing all the stickers. Says that the shipping journey will begin tomorrow, again does not clarify to the questions in the comments about what is shipping, the stickers or the book itself- BG X
7/1/2020: Caroline makes Cathy drive her to the post office in an adult fairy costume…No mention in the comments what she actually shipped, with the caption deliberately ambiguous.- BG X
7/3/2020: Caroline posts asking for a copy editor for her IAMCC essay, it is unclear if Scammer is also getting copy edited.-Story post X
7/6/2020: Announces that this is the final week to change your address or cancel your order by emailing Brigid before the 10th. -BG X
7/11/2020: Claims extra stickers are available if you still want to preorder Scammer, and still has the preorder option available on her website. -Story post X
7/20/2020: Updated on the website that the book is “estimated to ship August 31st”. Refunds are still advertised. No mention of this on her Instagram. -website X
7/21/2020: Typos are my brand hats are available to purchase on her site, despite claims that they are an exclusive gift for scammer. The first customer photo of just the hat is posted. -Story X
8/2/2020: Posts that scammer is getting “extra material”. Advertises that preorders are still available -story X
8/8/2020: Makes video claiming she is "reworking" Scammer, because she wants to make it about 2020, and not a tell all of her scam workshops, father’s passing, and the cut article. She claims a genre pivot. -BG X
(Notable missing item -- her commenting that it "will for sure ship at the end of the month" as a reply to someone on a grid post. I remember seeing it, but cannot for the life of me find it in her posts/as a screenshot)
EDITED from original posting: additions to the timeline after August 10th
8/20/2020: Caroline posts the official CC calendar of dates. A date for the release of scammer is notably absent, though the caption says "something big" is coming September 10th. There is speculation in the posts comments that this is scammers official release date, and caroline does not respond to any. Website still has the 31st estimated ship date posted.- BG X
8/21/2020: Caroline finally replies to a comment asking when scammer will arrive with "it's coming. Ask Brigid if you want a refund." She does not give any solid date or time, with 10 days to the alleged ship date.-BG X
8/22/2020: Caroline posts a Cambridge memory on her story about being part of a hunt club, and plugs that you should buy scammer because of the stories. Previously, she has claimed all Cambridge stories are part of AAWL, and she was adamant that they were going to be two separate books. In the next slide, she links the pre-order page for scammer, which is still open and accepting orders, 9 days until they are supposedly shipping. -story X
8/23/2020: someone comments and asks if there is a blurb they can read for scammer to see what its about. Caroline replies "no, its a gamble", despite her website claiming IACC ( which is back behind a paywall) would be included in scammer. X
8/29/20: After radio silence for ~4 days from Caroline, Brigid posts on Caroline's account for her, claiming she is very busy writing in preparation for the 31st.- story X
8/31/2020: Caroline does not post anything on instagram, big grid or stories, but is still active deleting comments. Scammer is still available to preorder.
9/2/2020: the first article has been posted asking "where is scammer?" has been posted by an Australian media site. So far there is no coverage from larger sites. * Article updated at the end of September(Mama Mia)
9/3/2020: Brigid replies to a direct mesaage asking for an update with the claim that it will ship sometime next week, and Caroline will "probably" give an update soon. Caroline is still MIA.-DM X
9/4/2020: Caroline returns the internet with a Scammer update in the form of 14 minute video. She claims the delays to scammer occurred after finding out her mother's cancer has returned in early August. The new anticipated ship date is Septemebr 17th, and she's changing the dedication to honor her mother now instead.-BG X X
9/17/2020: Caroline makes no mention of Scammer and does not respond to any comments about it shipping, but does post a bunch of tiktoks, a YouTube video, and multiple portraits of herself.
9/18/2020: Caroline posts an email screenshot she sent to her team, saying she was not going to get any work done today, sent at ~11 pm. The subject of the email is copy editing, implying the work she is not doing is editing Scammer, 1 day after its has already "shipped"-BG X
9/23/2020: Caroline posts a screenshot of a word document, claiming the page pictured will be an exclusive title page for the first edition printing, and will not be in subsequent print runs. This directly contradicts her claims that there will only be one printing and you must preorder it to recieve a copy or miss out on it "forever". The page makes a joke aboit how only a crazy person would have hung along through all the delays without getting a refund. She posts to her story claiming she is writing today, 6 days after the new new new ship date. -BG + storyX
9/25/2020: Caroline posts two stories about "limping" through the end of writting Scammer. In the second photo, she does not blur out the page count and it has 358 as the page total.-Story X
10/1/2020: Caroline posts a video about dreamer bbs, where she screenrecords her site. Scammer is still available for pre-order, but she scrolls by without acknowledgment.-story X
10/6/2020: at 4am after drinkingX, Caroline posts a grid post with the title for the first chapter of Scammer. The title is "I was Caroline Gotschall" and she's tagged 5 locations that go with the chapter. She accompanies these locations with stock images+ a photo of her father's house and calls it a chapter lookbook/preview. She also posts the opening line for the book, "When the curtain comes up, everything is a mess." which is directly plagiarizing the opening line of her annotated SCHOOL GIRL chapters, which she has previously sold for $4.99 a chapter. In a separate grid post, she posts a text conversation with an unknown person, asking if they've edited work she's sent them.-BG +story+ etsy pages X
10/8/2020: Caroline makes a post about Rowing Blazers and makes a joke in the caption about how she "makes books never" and then says kidding and that it's "almost here"-BG X
10/8/2020: Caroline posts a "lookbook" for Chapter 5 and titles it The Cantabrigian Princess, with the opening line "Put Cantabrigian Princess on my tombstone." This lookbook includes more stock photos of England and a book cover she photoshopped of Oscar Wilde. Caroline responds to a fan comment about Flatiron owning the rights to her Cambridge years with " A lot has changed this year".-BG+story X
10/8/2020: Caroline makes a long post about how she was unable to make the "revised" ship date of August 31st because of her Mom's cancer diagnosis. She asks that you request a refund with Brigid if you are impatient, and does not give any hard deadlines, again using the caretaking as a reason. She claims the original plan was to make Scammer 140 pages, but now it will be 350ish (microsoft word pages) once she "limps through the end of 2020". She says she plans to release more titles and lookbooks through out the next few weeks, and that her first book "will come very soon".-BG X
10/8/2020: Caroline posts the chapter 6 lookbook, which is another Cambridge chapter titled Hogwarts High Baroque. It again is a collection of stock images and screenshots from the Harry Potter movies. She posts the opening two "paragraphs", which are lines pulled directly from her I Am CC essay part 1, an old Instagram caption from 2019, and Prozac Nation.-BG +storyX
10/9/2020: Caroline posts a photo of her laptop with the screen blurred. At the top, you can see the document is titled Scammer Final. The only words you can see in thr document itself arr the ones she's already posted on her Instagram, and she has control-F up for "drug dealer". Caroline responds to a fan comment questioning the timeline that Scammer was at the printers in March. Caroline confirms she turned scammer into IAMCC at that time instead for her covid fundraiser, despite being adamant that they were two separate manuscripts. She also claims shes been working slowly on it when she hasn't been too busy caring for her mom, despite IAMCC stopped updating in May and Caroline not taking over caretaker duties in late September.-Story X
10/11/2020: Caroline posts her chapter 9 preview, which is titled "On Suicide". This chapter is about her father's passing, and the lookbook is images of his house, a selfie of Caroline, and his autopsy report. The excerpt is verbatim her opening paragraph from IAMCC part 2.5.-BG X
10/11/2020: Caroline posts her chapter 13 lookbook, titled "La La Sand." The images are from her trip to LA to meet with talent agents and be zany and sexual in the desert, as well as when she crashed a tailgate at Yale. The writing preview is one sentence pulled from a previous caption.-BG X
10/15/2020: Caroline posts a series of stories about how she thinks Scammer will be the next American Psycho. She advertises that you can still pre-order Scammer or request a refund from Brigid. She also says it will "arrive at your doorstep when it's ready", giving no new shipping estimate besides... Eventually?-StoryX
submitted by Poniesandproteins to SmolBeanSnark [link] [comments]

2020.06.19 19:17 unb0thered20 If Alex is a racist POS, then the whole CAST has to be! Right?? HONEST discussion on racism/hypocrisy here 🖤

I need to say my peace about this. And I would love to hear actual thoughtful replies. So, why is it SO easy for everyone to cast Alex to hell, for comments he made on his friends racist memes from highschool (circa 2012-2014...6-8 years ago...when he was 17-19 maybe?)....but NO ONE wants to hold the WHOLE CAST accountable?! And MTV in general?? They all for SURE knew about the old posts back when the internet first saw them: in 2017. They continued to work with him, hang with him, bang him, cry over him, etc. Sure didn't seem to mind that nice, "racist", MTV check the past 3 seasons! Oh. But NOW we're cancelling everyone. Everywhere. For everything bad, dumb, ignorant, that they've ever said. Oh. NOW they're all willing to throw him under the bus (or just be silent) and agree with the notion that Alex is an irredemptive, evil, racist POS they knew nothing about? But they're not, of course. Because they post black squares on IG. Yeah, seems totally legit and genuine. 🙄 But, according to the internets/cancel-cultures RULES:
Juliette- GUILTY by association! Dated and f-ed this evil racist for 4 years!? WTF. Vile! Chloe- best friends with this evil racist for even LONGER! Disgusting!! Madison- ex GF/current friend still!? Omg. Crucify her! Garrett- has actually known this "crew" for a looong time...Off with his head!!! Kelsey- a newbie to the gang...but, also f-ed Alex, and definely knew about his posts! Deuces, girl!! Brandon- how could he associate with a "known" racist all these years??! Awful!! Jared, Amanda, Alyssa, Paully, Cara, Sam, Canvas, Gary, Beth: ALL GUILTY BY ASSOCIATION!! What evil, despicable people! They ALL should be cancelled!!
Or maybe..... Alex isn't evil? Or racist? Whoa. Maybe he...made...mistakes? Shit. Maybe he...was an immature, ignorant highschooler who didn't understand the weight of his words?! 🤯 People on here act so high and mighty about everything race-related. Racial tension, unrest, inequality, segregation, ignorance... These have been in our society, cities, states, countries...for ALL of history. You're a product of your environment. Our speech, thoughts, actions: all influenced by SO many factors. It's not an easy conversation. But I'm glad we're having it again! But we have no IDEA who Alex was back then. I lived in Sarasota for 10 years; all of my 20s were there. There's not a ton of black people there honestly. I googled it: 75.41% White, 15.11% African American. I really feel like someone like Alex was: repeating things he grew up hearing, maybe tried to look cool to his friend posting the memes, and I truly think he was just a dumb, ignorant teen. But I don't think he's evil or irredeemable. Does that EXCUSE him posting racist stuff like that? No, of course not. But does it bring some CONTEXT to his possible culture growing up? Yes. It seems hard for some of y'all to fathom the level of ignorance kids are grown up in all over the country. Some people are very ignorant to the deep history and plight of African Americans...especially rich, more privileged people. So many have said “I think people can change, BUT...he’s definely a racist!"....”he should have known better”....”highschool is old enough to know better!" 🤦🏻‍♀️ Now THAT'S some "privilege" right there. Thank God I'm not in highschool anymore. FACT: if people dug up everything you or I ever said and did when WE were that age... WE'D ALL BE CANCELLED FOR SOMETHING OFFENSIVE. Alex def. could have changed since then. How could he not have? He's 25 now. He went to college, experienced more life, more kinds of people, seems to have kept a core group of friends all these years (many of whom y'all love and worship?). He seems to care about autism, his siblings, Juliette and others have ALWAYS said he was going to be a good father, and he actually has a child now. SO, hopefully, he continues to grow! We HAVE to give people a chance to learn, improve, and be better. ALL people are redeemable and capable of change (minus the small minority who are certified psycho/sociopaths...the REAL kind).
Here's my own story of racism: I know many people raised around a lot of racism, had a lot of racial-biases, and ignorance ingrained in them. Many of them have deeply changed over the years. My parents for one. They are from an area of Florida that was very segregated, a lot of racial tensions growing up. I had racist aunts, uncles, cousins, etc. My mom was assaulted and almost raped by a black guy while walking to school at 14. I myself was often verbally and sexually harassed by black guys, esp in highschool; and I was sexually assaulted once too. Race relations in the South are dicey. And mine was in the early 2000s! A lot of white people out there (esp in the south) have bad experiences with black people (and vice versa, DUH) because we were in segregated areas with a lot of systematic, racial problems. To no fault of either group- it was the fault of our system and govt as a WHOLE. Those experiences can taint the way you perceive other races. Is that "right"? No. But does it make "sense"? Yes. I had uneasiness towards black men for a lot of my younger life. But, I ALWAYS knew racism was wrong. I remember debating my racist uncle when I was in middle school, because he would tell us to never date outside our race. He told me that the Bible said “birds of a feather flock together” 🤦🏻‍♀️ (which is false, FYI, lol) I would argue with him and say that God doesn’t discriminate, so why should we? As I grew even older, got out of my small town, went to college, met people from all walks of life and backgrounds, and got to separate myself from those negative experiences, I became more free from my biases. I’ve had way more positive experiences with people of many races now. I’m in my 30s. Some of my closest friends are Hispanic and black now. There’s SO many things that can happen that can bring people out of that.
That's my own story, but I know there’s many of y’all reading this that understand what I’m saying. We all have racial biases, prejudices. It’s what you DO with those that shows if you’re a person that is redeemable and worthy of forgiveness. We don’t know if/why Alex never apologized for those things that came out. He probably did privately. I have a strong feeling that when they first came up in 2017, MTV, the producers, etc probably advised him to not say anything. That this would disappear if you just don’t address it. And it did. Except for us who read the articles long ago, or have been on this Reddit the past couple years. All MTV cared about was money and their show. They could’ve given Alex a platform and opportunity to show growth, maturity, remorse. To show unity. But they didn’t. And 4 years later, they’re still not giving him a chance to speak on this. They’re just trying to erase him, cancel him. So these comments from eight years ago are supposed to define him for the rest of his life?? It breaks my heart to see the unforgiveness and lack of grace that we have on human beings in our world today. MTV is the scum of the earth honestly. Opportunistic, fake, and hypocritical. Why are we supporting them at ALL??
With all these racial hurts and pains that we have going on in our country right now, we need these conversations. Not erasing. Not cancelling. Not hatred. We are living in really divided and painful times. We GOTTA give space for growth, maturity, tough conversations...and healing! Then we may see an end to racial biases and injustices. I truly think we have come a long way as a country, there's just some areas that are still catching up. I've personally seen such a jump from how my parents were raised to how I was raised, and how younger generations are now being raised. I truly have hope that we will get there ❤️
submitted by unb0thered20 to SiestaKeyMTV [link] [comments]

2020.04.20 00:28 HashtagImMatt I Have Never Dated and Social Media Overtook My Life

Hello fellow venters, now I'm guessing it's my turn to literally just let everything out. Letting it all loose, no strings attached. So here we go. Lets start from the beginning.
It's roughly 2006, Webkinz becomes big. Much like everyone else, I go get Webkinz myself and enter the world of the Internet. It's the first time I become addicted to the Internet and start going on each day. I still went to elementary school and had friends and at that time didn't care really if anyone liked me in general as a person. Then I started using games like POTC Online, Toontown, Millsberry and Kidzworld as places for me to interact with others playing the same games as well as being able to roleplay and get tasks done. I loved it, both Kidzworld and Millsberry were my versions of social media. Then as some games shutdown and I got older, I joined YouTube (just passed 11 years on 4/5) and Facebook (4/25/09) and at that time really only used it to play things like Farmville, then after a year in 2010, I was forced to move down to Florida after living in Georgia since '04. I lost all my friends, my grandmother lived on her own for the next year after trying to sell the house and I looked horrible. I had long hair down to my chin, and I was going through puberty. We had no internet for a year and me and my brother would do crazy things like start climbing into trees, sitting on the top of said tree or our roof, or even go next door to an abandoned home's backyard and just creep around. I'd ride my bike around our huge neighborhood and just do crazy things. Schoolwise, I went to school getting bullied and being there from 9 to 5 crazy enough. At the time people would start to date, I couldn't because I wasn't good enough or just plainly looked horrible.
In 2011, me, my brother, my mother, my grandma, 2 dogs, 2 cats and a bird moved into a very small apartment, now going to private school. At this point, we were able to get internet and much more cable channels, which made life feel better in a sense, feeling more up to date and informed. In 2011, I joined Twitter. At this point, I started to post alot more.
In 2012, Instagram started, and started posting pictures of life. Also this year, I would find the group "The Creatures" on YouTube, and started watching them addictively. They made me a part of their group when I felt I was never a part of one. The group would continue on until 2017, and I would be there daily. Otherwise, because at that point (in 2012) I was watching the group alot, I started to think less and less of dating or friends because I was on YouTube watching over 500 channels at the same time, my time was filled with videos. This mindset continued likely until 2015 or 2016 when the YouTube adpocolyse started and caused people I watched to leave the site.
In 2013, it was the peak of my personal happiness, nothing bad was happening in my point of view and everything was great. At this point I joined Vine.
In 2014, I started to actually try and date someone, but it never worked out, I would start to try and get together with people, and every mention after this was exactly that. I never have dated anyone and its quite sad. I met this girl when I was on a trip to Vegas and she commented on my picture from Insta that she was also from Sarasota (where I live now) and she probaly thought I was cute or something. So what we did was we met each other at a local chirch (which was already weird for me because im not religious) and we went to a pool party and tryed acting as if we were dating. Later after going back to the chuch, everyone that did go to that party got yelled at because everyone was also dating other people and wernt actually having fun, I guess, really confusing really. Later over text on my dinky flip phone i had to share with my grandmother, she said she didnt want to date me and so on the first day of school, i tried to get her back but failed kiserably. Shes now a guy so... yeah. Also this year, I would join my local school news and it would help considerably with my social problems.
2015 rolls around and I try to "date" again. This time, because of school, I had to do some volunteer hours. I decided to do those hours at my old private school my brother was still at. It was summer camp, and the other girl was around my age. She was french and polite so that was cool. We never did hangout after camp and by the time school started again, she said she wanted to keep it low from her parents because they wouldn't have approved of it. I eventually said I'm not going to deal with a closed relationship and I ended it. Today we are friends and I eventually took her to prom. At this point, I was entering my senior year of high school and another year at my school news, I became the producer and anchor and edited all the intros and stories.
In 2016, my life starts to crumble. My oldest dog dies after 12 years, and from here on out I "date" nobody. I graduate high school and enter college, losing all my classmates from years past. I get into a car crash. This would also be the year I joined and got my first job working at Publix just around my 18th birthday.
In 2017, nothing much happened.
iN 2018, I left Publix and graduated community college, but in my head I thought it would be the best idea to move to a dorm away from family when I was accepted into FGCU for 2019. By December, I tried to "date" this girl who I was working with because she started to give me that "look" and it made me question if she liked me. She said she did and so for like a week I tried my hardest to go places with her but because school was about to start up and I was in Ft. Myers, eventually she would start having daily breakdowns and so did I. This year, I also joined TikTok.
Last year, I also got a full time job working 1-9am at NBC2 as a video editor while also being full time at school. Horrible mistake. I failed my first classes ever, my GPA tanked and my sleep got fucked up. I still have flashbacks to it alot and it kills me on the inside. At that same time, my 20 year old cat died a day before I turned 21 and it continued my downfall. At this point, I had lost my 2 favorite companions, and had no friends to care about me. I was living with roommates on campus that I hated as well as ones off campus from the summer. At one point, I also accidently signed two housing agreements that caused me to 1) have to leave school for a semester and 2) caused my credit to tank.
So far in 2020, I was able to get a job, however in my head, I have this mindset of having to "like" people in order for me to have a good day at work. I've liked a number of girls at work but eventually they all got boyfriends and has caused me yet again to feel bad about myself. I was able for the first time in my life to talk to a girl that genuinely cares about how I'm feeling, but I haven't hung out with her since my b-day (2/26). She said I seem interesting but she doesn't want to date. Of course I respect the decision, it just kills me having to live with no one that in a relationship cares about me. I am so far behind as a 22 year old in what normal 22 year olds do. It's embarrassing. I'm tired of it. I want to love someone. But no, I'm just so unlucky. I try to put a happy face on but they don't like it. Do I have to be a douche? Like really? It's exhausting.
I don't know if that girl will read this at all. I'm not trying to force things on people, I'm just literally letting my thoughts across because its how I genuinely feel even if I can't say it face to face to someone. I have Aspergers, socializing is hard. I know at this point not to say stupid shit about someone because I've made that mistake before and now they don't talk to me and it frightens me. I think she knows I like her, probably because she knows my story about how degrading I am and notices I seem happier when I'm around her. She said no to dating (or something to the extent of that). I know she has a life and can make her own decisions on things and focus on herself and not me. People can go different ways in that regard. I just always continue to have this urge of just dating someone because I know it will help me with lots of the problems I have because there would always be a support system there by my side 24/7/365. I can't "love myself" if theres always been the problems of people "not loving me". That's the problem I have.
submitted by HashtagImMatt to offmychest [link] [comments]

2020.03.12 13:47 banddfl Latest update from Sarasota County Schools - looks like they’re taking a survey to get virtual learning set up - need student numbers for hotspots and laptops

Dear Sarasota County families,
Please note: This is a highly important message with critical information concerning the district’s Superintendent Search Survey, our Mobile Device Needs Survey, and Spring Break considerations regarding COVID-19.
Superintendent Search Survey
The School Board of Sarasota County has opened the search process for the district’s next Superintendent of Schools, with the help of the Florida School Boards Association. A Community Advisory Committee, made up of community members chosen by our School Board members— and who will represent a cross-section of Sarasota County —will take part in the search. The school district is also actively seeking input from staff and the community through an online survey. District staff will be receiving the Superintendent Search Survey link via email today. Community members, and staff who do not have regular access to district email, can access the Superintendent Search Survey online here. The online survey will close on Thursday, April 2.
We encourage all members of our Sarasota County community to stay connected to keep up to date on the search. Please visit often, as items will be continuously updated as new information becomes available. We will utilize this webpage to list important details, including a timeline of the search process and all applications submitted by candidates, which will be posted as the search progresses.
Mobile Device Needs Survey
In the unlikely event of a traditional public school closure due to any emergency situation during the regular academic year, Sarasota County Schools will make every effort to ensure that our students’ educational opportunities continue while they are safely at home.
In order to identify students who may need to checkout a laptop and/or an internet hotspot, we are asking parents & guardians of traditional public school students to complete a brief online survey. The survey can be found on the Information Technology page on the district website, or by going to
It is important that we gather this information for our teachers NOW so they can continue to provide instruction virtually if school closures occur in the future. Please take a moment to complete this important survey! We appreciate your partnership as we all work to provide for the educational needs of our children. If you can’t access the survey, please contact the district’s Information Technology department at 941-927-9000, ext. 31350.
Spring Break COVID-19 Updates
Please note, as of this time of this message, virtually all new cases of COVID-19 in Florida are travel-related. Many families are planning to travel during spring break. With the rapid spread of Coronavirus (COVID-19) around the world, including the United States, we wanted to provide information that may be helpful for your travel decision-making. The health and safety of all our students and staff is our district’s highest priority. We are closely monitoring the Coronavirus situation in Florida, and our local Sarasota community. We are also working closely with our local Department of Health to ensure we have the most current information and recommendations to keep our community healthy.
If you are planning to travel during spring break, we encourage you to carefully review the travel advice on the Center for Disease Control and Prevention’s (CDC) web page at: This information is updated frequently and will contain the most current information about travel precautions. However, please understand that this is a rapidly evolving situation so recommendations can change daily.
**This is an important personal decision whether or not to travel, but should you do so, you must follow the CDC advisories. As such, should you choose to travel, please plan now for any possible impact on your family.
As families are enjoying their time off, our custodial teams will continue deep cleaning and disinfecting all schools.
We wish all our teachers, staff, students, parents & families a safe and restful Spring Break!
--Sarasota County Schools
submitted by banddfl to SRQcovidinfo [link] [comments]

2020.02.20 17:28 wumzao New FedNow Service for Making Real-Time Payments in the U.S.

Modernizing Our Payments System
Cleveland Fed President Loretta J. Mester
Fourth Annual Financial Literacy Day: Understanding Global Markets and Finance, Global Interdependence Center, University of South Florida, Sarasota-Manatee
Sarasota, FL
submitted by wumzao to econmonitor [link] [comments]

2019.06.03 21:15 vandranessa My Wild, 13 Year (and counting!) Catfish Story

This story is CRAZY. It has taken me a long time to really flesh out the details and jog my memory to get all of this down, but it's here. First, I would like to introduce myself. My name is Jen and I'm a 24 year old girl from New York.
I apologize for such a long story, but I really wanted to pack in all of the details and get this out.
Here we go.

Some time between 2003 and 2006, I started playing an online game called Coke Studios. It was similar to Habbo Hotel but sponsored by Coca Cola and had a huge social aspect. I made a group of friends in the game and being the emo weirdo kid that I was, I clung to them for years. We had chats on MSN and would even play World of Warcraft together. In this group of friends was a boy who went by the name Andy, but told a select group of people that his real name was Collin. I met him in 2006.

In the summer of 2008 Collin and I got very close. We would talk on MSN all night long and would text all day. However, he had an online girlfriend. KEEP IN MIND having an online relationship in 2008 was very different than current e-dating. There was no snapchat, instagram, facetime, or any real way to prove your identity unless you tried really hard.
Collin eventually dumped his internet girlfriend and on August 14th, 2008 he asked me to be his girlfriend. And we were ~in lo0o0ove~ !!!! I was 13 years old when this happened and Collin told me he was 15. We would literally text, chat online, or play video games together nonstop. We were suuuuper mushy. Collin lived in Florida, and I lived on Long Island, New York.
I literally took a picture of who he claimed he was, printed it out, and pasted it into my diary. (Eyes are blocked out for privacy.)
We used boyfriend/girlfriend titles and he even made a Facebook profile so that we could be Facebook official. We talked about exploring the world together, being soulmates, getting married one day. We sent each other photos of our cats. He went vegetarian for me (I’ve been a vegetarian for a long time) and we would talk about how we wanted to someday be together and make our fake chicken nuggets together.
Over the next few months I started getting frustrated because he wouldn’t talk to me on the phone, saying he couldn't make long distance calls. I was growing skeptical but honestly I felt very strongly about this person and the attention was amazing, especially for a young girl who had never really had the attention of a boy before. I remember we “broke up” over text one day while I was in school -- I was literally in my freshman year biology class -- and I remember coming home that night and crying for HOURS. I was devastated, he seemed like he was too, and we ended up staying together.
Collin had told me very sad things about his life all the time. I think he wanted me to feel sympathy for him, to want to care about him, to feel bad and give him the attention I thought he deserved. He would tell me that his father was an alcoholic who abandoned him, his mom, and his younger brother. His dad lived in Georgia and loved cars, and he never got to see his dad. His mom had Lupus. He told me that one time, he left the house and when he came home, a kitten that he had was DEAD, having gotten caught in a string and strangling itself to death. He told me that he went to a concert and was moshing and got punched in the face and broke his nose. I remember reading that text while at a party with my friends and being so sad for him and wishing that there was something I could do to make it better, but also... 14 year old metalhead Jen thought it was pretty attractive that he was moshing at all. It was tragedy after tragedy, no matter what. This guy never had a normal day, something was always wrong. I pitied him, I wanted to make things better for him, my heart hurt for him.
Collin’s favorite band was a group called Whitechapel -- a very heavy deathcore band, with very guttural vocals and booming breakdowns. I was so head over heels for this guy that they eventually became my favorite band, too, for many years. Honestly, I still enjoy their music and to this day I get excited when I meet people who have heard of this band. This detail is only important for the next part of the story.

By June 2009, I was signed up to go on a National Geographic Student Expedition to Iceland for about a month. I was an aspiring photographer, even at 14 years old, and I always loved traveling. I was very lucky to be going on this trip and was invited to a facebook group for the other students who would be going on the trip with me. I noticed that one of the people who was in the facebook group was wearing a Whitechapel shirt in his profile picture. I immediately reached out to him to let him know that I liked his shirt and I loved that band. A few weeks later, I met him at the JFK airport and he was wearing a Job For A Cowboy (another metal band) sweatshirt and in that moment I decided I had a real serious crush on this guy. His name was Nick and he was from California. I followed him around everywhere he went and other kids on our trip would make fun of me for it. He taught me everything about film and landscape photography. Eventually he kissed me in a tent on Lake Myvatn and that was it, I was obsessed with this guy. We had a super passionate “affair” (he had a girlfriend -- I’m so sorry Ellie) while we were in Iceland together and I was convinced that I was in love with him. When I got home from Iceland I cried for days on end, just thinking about and missing this guy, and I would openly write about it on my tumblr. And Collin didn’t fuckin’ like that.
Now that my attention had gone elsewhere, Collin acted very resentful. He had the password to my private personal tumblr page, which I treated like a diary, and was probably very upset to see me ranting about how much I missed this Nick guy. We started getting into more and more fights and it was messy. And not only was I frustrated with our friendship, but I was still very skeptical of this person, as evidenced in one of my Tumblr posts:
In November of 2009, I was getting curious and started googling things like “Collin [Last Name] Florida” and what do you know, a MySpace page came up of my man, Collin. At this point, I didn’t realize that Collin was still using MySpace -- I and my friends had all migrated to Facebook by then. I poked around the profile and I saw things mentioning a sister, and I didn’t think he had a sister… I read the bio and the grammar was pretty poor, which was unlike Collin… Overall, I noticed a lot of details that were not familiar to me. So, starting to freak out a little but not really feel any shock, I messaged the profile and asked the guy “Do you know who I am?”
He said no. And then it sunk in.
I confronted *my Collin* and he confessed over a message on MySpace. I posted it to my own Tumblr page at one point and I’m glad I did so I still have it today. This is his confession, and damn it’s a fucking good one:
I didn’t know what to do. I felt a lot of anger but like I mentioned before, I wasn’t really shocked. It made sense. But the night that I found out, I had come home from the gym and just cried. I had handwritten letters that I would write to Collin that I wanted to send him one day. I went outside and burned them in my backyard. We had a group of online friends who talked on MSN and I told everyone about Collin. I effectively destroyed his online reputation out of spite.
Months went by and I didn’t speak to him anymore.

By mid 2010, we somehow ended up talking to each other again. I think it happened over Tumblr or maybe over text. He said that he missed me and he was sorry. He told me who he *really* was: His name was actually Collin Gomez and he would be turning 17 in October (I would be 15 in August). He was from Sarasota, Florida, and this is what he looked like:
Again, eyes covered for privacy.
I didn’t believe him. He was WAY too cute for it to be true. So, in true internet fashion, he made me a “sign” and sent it to me. He took a photo of himself holding a piece of paper that said “Jenny Poo” which was a stupid name he gave me and was an inside joke of ours. Here’s the picture:
I examined it over and over relentlessly to see if it was photoshopped in any way. As a photographer and someone very fluent in mostly checked out to me. A few months later, he posted a video to Tumblr of himself talking and if I remember correctly, he mentioned my name and a joke of ours. I remember falling to the floor with relief. I remember that I couldn’t stop smiling for the entire day. Two of my friends were with me when I saw the video and they thought it was bullshit because… the audio was delayed… but I was just over the moon to even hear a VOICE. Any voice!

By the spring of 2011, I had a real-life boyfriend. I went on another National Geographic Student Expedition, this time to Alaska for a few weeks, and my real-life boyfriend cheated on me while I was gone. I dumped the guy as soon as I got home. SOMEHOW, COLLIN AND MY EX START TEXTING EACH OTHER????? Collin told the guy off for cheating on me (oh, my white knight!) and MY EX TOLD COLLIN SEXUAL SHIT ABOUT ME? LIKE? CAN YOU NOT???? It was all out fucking madness, but also a really good example of how involved this person was in my life!
By late 2011, Collin and I were romantic again, as evidenced by our tumblr posts about getting married, him talking about wanting to kiss me, and him posting about how cute I was:
I loved the attention. Could you blame me? Someone thought I was the cutest girl on the planet. I was fairly skeptical of his identity but was blinded enough by the affection I was receiving to let it all go.

In January of 2012, Collin apparently had a real life girlfriend. Somehow, I was just his friend that he texted and he had a real girl down in Florida. Naturally, I was jealous, but was obviously happy for him. I was on vacation with my mom in Panama and I remember sending him photos from my trip and telling him that I loved him, and he responded that we would always be soulmates no matter who he was dating (kind of weird), we just couldn’t physically be together.
At one point, I asked for his address so that I could mail him some letters. I liked to physically write by hand and would often do it while I was bored in class. I sent the mail and it came back to me, return to sender. It said that the address was vacant.
I think I let things go after a while. I was dating a guy in real life again by the spring of 2012 and I was going off to college that summer. We just didn’t talk as much anymore, only on occasion I would reach out and text him to see what he was doing. Keep in mind, at this point I had never facetimed him, which was now a very common thing to do, nor had we even talked on the phone. I remember asking him to snapchat me and he said the app wouldn’t work on his phone.
Once I started college, we would text on occasion but not very often. By now, the term and TV show “Catfish” was commonly known.
In the summer of 2014, I reached out to Catfish and sent in a whole application to the show. A producer gave me a call and left me a message. I still have the message in my voicemail. Part of the application included providing MTV with Collin’s contact info, so I did. I gave them his phone number, Tumblr, Facebook, and Instagram pages.
The day after Catfish reached out to Collin, I called the producer from Catfish back and they let me know that they never got a response and we could not move forward without Collin’s consent.
I tried calling Collin’s phone and the number was disconnected.
I checked his Facebook and it was gone.
His Tumblr was deactivated.
His Instagram was deleted.
He effectively disappeared. And that was it, he was gone. It was over. I knew at this point that whoever they were, they were never going to tell me the truth.

A year goes by. Even though I wasn’t really using Tumblr anymore (if I’m being honest, at this point I was only using it for porn) and I logged in one day to see that my account had a message waiting. The message was from Collin. He apologized for disappearing and gave me an email address where we could talk. We sent a few emails back and forth just updating each other on our lives. He claimed to still be the person in the photos that he sent me in 2009. He even still had a Tumblr page where he talked about his life -- including getting a huge chest tattoo of an eagle and also getting into a very bad car accident while driving home from his girlfriend’s apartment one night.
By now, you’re probably wondering “Jen, what the fuck are you doing? This person is obviously a catfish and you’re a moron for continuing this situation” and listen -- I know. I get it. But, at the same time, I’ve never been the type of person to let things go. I needed to know the truth. I figured that no matter who this person was, I *did* care about them regardless of their physical identity. I don’t know, I can’t explain it in any way that sounds rational. Curiosity killed the cat, and it will probably kill me too.

Over the years, the itch to know was eating me alive. I graduated from college in 2016 and started my first big girl job! And guess what -- on slow days at work, I would spend hours and hours searching for a “Collin Gomez” who lived in Florida. I would use all of the details that I knew to find anything possible about this person online, and there was nothing. I would look up information about his mom, and there was basically nothing. I knew that something wasn’t right but I feared that if I confronted him again and asked for the truth, he would disappear into the oblivion of anonymity and I would be left pondering this for the rest of my life.
We continued talking over email in 2017. I had drunkenly sent him an email saying I was reading old conversations of ours and I missed him. He responded and we continued to update each other on our lives. He told me that he found out his long term girlfriend was cheating on him and was actually pregnant with another man’s baby. I was still telling him very serious details about my life -- finding out about my mom being adopted, breaking up with my ex, moving to Brooklyn, getting a raise.
In 2017, I created a huge twitter thread detailing my catfish experience and people started paying attention. But in reality, there was nothing to talk about anymore -- either I was going to wait for him to email me again and maybe I would be brave enough to confront him, or I was going to let it all go forever. The last communication we had was in January of 2018 where he asked me how I felt about the new Star Wars movie. I didn’t respond until this year.

By 2019, I had nothing to work with. Like I said, I spent so much time searching for any details of his life. I had actually become the ~FBI agent~ of my friend group because I had gotten so good at looking up details about anyone’s life online. A friend of mine met a guy at a deli, thought he was cute, and with just the kid’s first name I was able to find his entire criminal record and determine that sadly, he had a girlfriend. Researching skills aside, I was randomly having dreams about Collin where I would be talking to him but I was unable to see his face. It was pretty creepy.
I sent him an email in March of 2019 saying that I recently had a dream about him and wanted to see how he was doing. I never got a response. I sent another email on May 17th where I basically snapped and demanded to know the truth. This is what I said:
“Hey. I have a lot to say so please bear with me (no, that isn't meant to be an animal pun, but it's a bonus) and I really need to put all of this out there. I know that this isn't your real email or your real name.
You said it yourself the first time you confessed your identity to me 10 years ago: I'm a smart girl. I know better. And on top of that, I'm insanely good at finding information about people online even if all I have is a tiny sliver of information.
I'll put it this way -- not knowing who you really are over the past ten years has been slowly driving me fucking insane. I am not the type of person who just lets things go, and this whole situation has been growing like a cancer in the back of my head for a long time. I have literally spent entire days at work, at every job I've ever had, trying to figure out who you actually are. I can tell you pretty much everything about anyone named Collin or Colin from your area. The Collin who you used to use photos of, is my Facebook friend. Found his mugshot too, that was a good laugh. I have literally dug through tons of information about women who could be your mom's age who are employed by pharmacies Florida.
In any other situation I might think this was a creepy thing to do, but it isn't. It is not my fault that I desperately need to know who you really are. I am not going to let it go no matter how hard I try to.
I know we haven't talked in a while, but I appreciate it a lot when we do. But, I also know that you're obviously capable of lying and making up intricate details about a life that you aren't actually living. There's usually an element of tragedy and something to impress me. You admitted that yourself 10 years ago. I remember how you used to always talk about your life and you do it the same way now.
I have known for a long time that you are not who you say you are. I've known it since before you confessed it to me the first time, before I found it out by myself. I've probably known it all along and guess what -- it never stopped me from caring about you. Even when you did confess things to me, I forgave you really quickly and still told you that I loved you and cared about you.
I'm not writing this to call you out or to make you feel bad. I'm sorry if this is coming off aggressive. That is not my intention at all. I'm writing to you because I am DESPERATE to know the truth. It is absolutely killing me and the curiosity is eating me alive. I don't want to be on my deathbed one day still wondering. Holy shit I don't want to die not knowing. That is absolutely TERRIFYING TO ME.
I really don't even know if you'll ever check this email account again. I don't think you have a reason to if you aren't thinking about talking to me. I feel like this is me sending a message in a bottle and hoping someone gets it one day. It's a pretty hopeless feeling.
You have always meant a lot to me and I have always cared about you, but I feel like a joke STILL caring so much about someone I don't even know. I can promise that I will not judge you. I will not do anything spiteful. I'm not the kid you used to know, I'm a full blown adult with a career and a life and I don't care to do shitty things to people on the internet. I just want to know the truth so I can rest my mind and move on. This is the last thing I will ever ask of you and I will leave you alone for however long you want.
All I want is the truth, please. I'm honestly begging.”
I wasn’t expecting a response. If anything, this was my last resort and I was just putting it out into the universe praying for some relief from my endless curiosity. Plus, if this person was a catfish, why reveal their identity to me NOW? After 13 or more years of this going on, what did they actually owe me? Wouldn’t it be easier to just disappear and forget that I existed? I really was not expecting anything. But I was pleasantly surprised.
I opened the email app on my phone to pull up my dental insurance card that my dad had just emailed me. I was about to leave my house to go to the dentist. I saw that Collin had replied and I was horrified. I was so scared to read his response. I thought right away that he would be like “what are you talking about” and call me crazy for emailing him such a dramatic thing basically out of nowhere.
He responded on May 29th:
“Sorry if this is brief I just don't know where to begin. I just got home from work and something reminded me of you so I thought I'd check this.
I have always wanted to come clean but I thought just ignoring it all and resuming my own life would make it go away but I know that's not true - there are real people with real feelings and real lives that are involved.
If I were in your shoes I would absolutely feel the same way, desperately wanting to know the truth. At this point you deserve the truth - 10 years is too long.
What would you like to know?”
And about a half hour later:
“I won't be able to check this in the next 30 mins or so but I'd hate to keep you hanging after a message like the one above.
Send messages to 407-434-XXXX if you want to continue talking now”
The first thing I did was google the phone number that he had given me. Obviously, you can find out a lot by a phone number. I was thinking to myself -- this is it, I’m going to find them now.
The area code is for Orlando. Nice. But, on every search that I did, it kept coming up as a landline, which I found really strange since I was going to text the number… how could you text a landline? I assumed the searches were probably just wrong. One search traced the number to an address in Orlando and I immediately started searching for any info about that address.
I texted a friend of mine about the situation and he informed me that the number was actually registered to Google Voice. He had found that out with a search. Google Voice had actually bought the entire block of phone numbers in Orlando starting with 434. And on Google Voice, you can pick your area code and even the number that you want to use. So, this wasn’t his actual phone number, just a number he could use to talk to me. I was disappointed that I couldn’t use this phone number to dig up any information about Collin.
What happened next was kind of crazy. I texted the number. Instead of trying to describe it, just read our conversations:
And that brings us to today. She and I are supposed to facetime in a few hours. I don’t know what will happen. Hopefully all of this will end and that will be that. Do I text her first and ask if she’s still free? What if I feel bad for her and now I don’t want to share my story? What if she sees this post and decides not to talk to me?! I bet she uses Reddit. Uuuuuuugh. I suppose we will soon find out and I'll have to post an update. (If I do get to talk to her, I do not intend on sharing any information about her to protect her privacy. Not even a first name, y'all.)

Quick shout out to my friends for letting me talk about this situation for the past 13 years, and another shout out to my boyfriend for being the best even though I'm sure he hates this whole thing. Also, thank you to everyone who has helped me figure this out over the years and another thank you to the people who have encouraged me to tell this story. <3

Edit: She does use reddit (hi/yikes!). Removed some details for privacy.

Update: Just got off of FaceTime. She answered all of my questions and it was wonderful to talk to her. I'm really glad that she was able to be honest with me and I feel super grateful and relieved. The End :)
submitted by vandranessa to catfish [link] [comments]

2019.01.01 22:16 PlasticJesters Bo Burnham: 2018 A Year In Review

Bo Burnham: 2018 A Year In Review
Here's a look back at Bo's professional activities in 2018 (what a year it was!) as well as some of his social media, and other things of interest. Some are links to reddit threads with discussion, some are links to the direct sources.
I also made a video version which is here which is full of pics, video, music and other good stuff too.
After not having tweeted in months, Bo announced that Eighth Grade, the film he wrote in 2014 and filmed and directed in the summer of 2017, would be playing at the Sundance Film Festival. He kept up promoting the film throughout the year on Twitter and Instagram - noting reviews, countdowns, appearances, and generally using both platforms more than he had in years.
At Sundance, it was one of only sixteen films nominated in the US Dramatic Film category.
The initial social media reaction to the film was extremely positive, and it ended up as the highest rated film of the whole festival.
Indiewire brought us one of the first Sundace interviews, and Vulture was one of the first to explore Eighth Grade's connection to the #metoo movement.
Bo also returned to Largo after an eight month absence to play a few songs. Over the course of 2018 he played there thirteen times, playing many new post-Make Happy songs, some that he played there last year, and a few newer ones. I caught a few of these shows and described them here, here, and here. All the shows were amazing! (Watch the video for pix from the shows.)
February saw the release on Netflix of the Chris Rock special "Tamborine", directed by Bo. Vulture interviewed Bo about it, and many other media outlets mentioned Bo's directing.
Eighth Grade played at the SXSW festival, with more positive reviews, and more interviews - here and here.
We learned that Eighth Grade would open in movie theaters on July 13th, got our first peek at the poster, and were excited for the first trailer.
April was the start of what would become a regular thing for many months - Eighth Grade being shown at film festivals around the country, and Bo doing a Q&A afterwards.
He was in Boston, here's video, Phoenix, Sarasota, where his grandmother also attended, Atlanta, Montaclair and San Francisco. I was at the SF one, and described it here and here, and he signed my Egghead!. Eighth Grade won the Audience Award in San Francisco.
It was announced that the script he wrote that had been in development at Paramount since 2013 would go into production, and he would serve as producer, but not direct. Later in the year he mentioned that the original title "Gay Kid and Fat Chick", would eventually be changed, though we don't know the new title yet.
Meanwhile, the video on his YouTube channel for Can't Handle This hit 10 million views.
The Q&A festival tour continued, video of the Chicago Q&A, plus an interview and Ann Arbor.
He also filmed this interview at DePaul University in Chicago, which if you watch only ONE Eighth Grade Q&A, make it this one. It covers all his usual talking points about EG, and it's very well filmed.
Eighth Grade had its European premiere at Sundance London, and Bo also taught a Comedy Movie Masterclass. He won the Audience Award. Yay!
He was interviewed at the Social Innovation Summit, and visited Google.
The Q&A tour brought him to Seattle, here's a press interview and I wrote some thoughts on seeing Bo do both musical comedy at Largo and two Seattle Q&As all in one weekend here.
He was with the whole cast for BamCinemaFest.
The New Yorker wrote a profile. If you only read one profile of him, make it this one.
The Hollywood Reporter also had a great feature that includes video.
Elsie posted about him on instagram.
He was interviewed by Grace Helbig at Vidcon.
He wrote a sappy letter to Enya. And we learned that the Eighth Grade soundtrack by Anna Meredith would be released.
After a six month absense, "what." returned to Netflix.
Bo and Elsie ended up doing 14 Q&As around Los Angeles leading up to the July 13th premiere. One of which was at a middle school, and included a dance afterwards.
It's opening weekend, Eight Grade had the highest screen average of 2018.
Eighth Grade debuted to stunning reviews, with a 99% Fresh rating on Rotten Tomatoes.
Talk shows! Bo was on most of the major talk shows. Kimmel, Seth Myers, James Corden, The View, CBS Sunday Morning, GMA and The Daily Show.
Vulture had a great interview and Time did great profile, the Bruin Society had a nice video interview, as did Build
By the end of the month, Eighth Grade had expanded to many major cities.
He wrote a piece for Landmark Theatres.
Bo and Elsie ended up doing multiple Q&As in Dallas in one day. And had a quick trip to Chicago
Elsie asked for some fan art, and Bo obliged.
Throwback! An early version of Sonnet 155 surfaced.
August brought Bo to Reddit for an AMA. Yeah, that Reddit AMA "proof" sweater was familiar.
There was a night of free screenings with no ratings in every state.
He did a video interview with Teen Vogue, was quizzed on whether he was Smarter than an Eighth Grader, and reacted to people watching the Eighth Grade trailer.
He put up a trippy Eighth Grade video on his YouTube channel.
Bo shared a letter that he wrote to himself in Eighth Grade.
Bo told us that YouTube had decided that the video for I'm Bo Yo didn't meet advertising standards, and could no longer be monetized.
He and Elsie did a Q&A on twitter.
There was a an interview with The Atlantic and Relevant Magazine.
A24 added a yearbook page to their website, with pix of a young Bo.
And we learned about a time when Bo was still a teenager that he was a feminist ally for a comedian at a show in Australia.
Sony picked up the rights to distribute Eighth Grade internationally.
Bo watched an old interview on MTV with abject horror.
He edited an A24 Zine.
A24 had a contest to bring a free screening to 100 schools.
He answered five questions.
He made an appearance at The New Yorker Festival, after first having dropped out on learning that Steve Bannon was a part of the festival.
Eighth Grade left theaters the first week of October, with 13 1/2 million in box office sales.
He made a promo for the digital release of Eighth grade.
Bo appeared as a featured speaker at Bingham University, audio of it.
Eighth Grade was released on DVD with extra features on October 9th.
Bo attended the Govenors Awards.
He won the Breakthrough Director Award at the Gotham Awards - video of his acceptance speech.
He encouraged everyone to vote.
Bo was interviewed at the Vulture festival. And participated in a writing round table with The Hollywood Reporter
He participated in a Q&A for Variety Screenings, an industry event for active members of voting guilds in the film industry.
More awards! So many! Detroit film critics, Los Angeles online film critics, NY film critics. For a full list of all of his and Elsie's many nominations and wins go here!
Bo wrote a piece for the LA Times.
He announced that Eighth grade would be in theaters in Australia in January.
Barack Obama named Eighth Grade as one of his favourite movies of the year.
He was asked to pick his favourite movies of 2018, but chose his favourite performances instead.
Bo was on a lot of podcasts this year, so I've put them all in one place here, rather than spread them out through the months. Some are audio only, some have video.
A24, with Jerrod Carmichael
Comic's Comic
Seattle International Film Festival
Good One and video Recommended!
H3 Video, recommended!
Bullseye with Jessie Thirn
WTF with Marc Maron
Douglas Rushkoff, and video
Unqualified with Anna Feris
I Think You're Interesting
Forever Dog
Back To One
Hot Breath Podcast video
About to Interview
What a year! It's been great to see Bo embrace his new passion for film making, and amazing to see such spectacular critical success on his first project. Onwards to 2019...
Some of the things this sub (or people posting here) got up to in 2018:
Made a digital portrait.
Did tributes at grad.
Did some art.
Made string art.
Watched Words Words Words for free on pornhub.
Took surveys.
Played quizes.
Made cool wallpapers.
Captioned pictures.
Designed comedy special posters.
Designed comedy special album covers.
We also took over modding the existing unexpectedboburnham sub, and created a new BoBurnhamMemes sub.
And finally...shout-out to the most up voted post here in 2018!
My New Year's Resolution? To keep track of this stuff as the year goes on, rather than waiting til the end of the year to put it all together...
See you on the sub - PJ
submitted by PlasticJesters to boburnham [link] [comments]

2018.11.13 12:25 MarkDungo333 [Other] An in-depth look at Kutchie's Key Lime Pies

Hey there, /UnresolvedMysteries. I’ve spent way too much time looking into the Kutchie’s Key Lime Pie mystery, so I wrote this post to clear up some misconceptions about the mystery and collect all of my findings in one place. Hope you find my post interesting and informative. I’ll start by discussing the Key Lime Pie posts for those who aren’t familiar with them.
The Posts
Someone has spent several years posting strange messages about “Captain Kutchie’s Key Lime Pies” all over the internet. The poster effusively praises the key lime pies and Goody Goody cheeseburgers served at Kutchie’s Key West Café, claiming that they’re the best in the world and that celebrities from all over America visit Kutchie’s just to taste their key lime pie. He mentions that the restaurant is run by Oswald and Anita Pelaez and that it’s located in Asheville, North Carolina. The posts are quite humorous - they’re full of puns and wordplay and sometimes contain wacky sexual references, like testimonials that Kutchie’s key lime pies cause instant orgasms and increase penis size. The poster writes in the style of an old-timey radio announcer and makes lots of references to Baby Boomer pop culture. Often the posts are several hundred words long. Here’s a link to some typical comments. Google “Kutchie’s key lime pie” and you’ll find hundreds more of these posts. The astounding number of bizarre posts has led people to speculate about the identity of the poster and the purpose of the comments, wondering if it’s a crazy person, a troll, a bot, or a conspiracy.
The Restaurant
At first, it was unclear whether or not Kutchie’s Key West Café actually existed, since there are few references to the restaurant online besides these posts. However, Redditors have proven that Kutchie’s is indeed a real restaurant that was located in Asheville and owned by Oswald Pelaez Jr. (a.k.a. Kutchie) and Anita Pelaez. There are many references to the restaurant in Asheville newspaper archives and the building is still visible on Google Street View. Kutchie’s was opened in 1978 and stayed open as late as 2005 or 2006. The first KLP posts appeared in 2009, by which time the restaurant had been bought out and turned into a sports bar (Allstar Sports Bar & Grill).
Does Kutchie’s as imagined by the Key Lime Pie poster have anything to do with the real Kutchie’s? There is definitely some agreement between the posts and what we know about the restaurant. Some implausible details from the posts turned out to be true. A few KLP posts mention a crocodile in the restaurant – Reddit posts ( 1, 2 ) and newspaper ads confirm this. Restaurant customers also recall connections to Jimmy Buffett and other celebrities, a subject that the KLP poster writes about at length. LabondGozey notes: “One KLP message identifies it as being in “the land of sky” – a Sky-land address appears on most of the adverts. The phrase “where eating is a pleasure and cooking is an art” appears in both the KLP messages and the adverts. KLP messages often talk about the food at Kutchie’s as “famous” – early adverts for Kutchie’s advertise their “famous” club sandwich. The KLP messages reference a musical connection – Kutchie’s is advertised as having a dance-room, live music and a resident organist”.
But what about the Goody Goody Cheeseburgers and the delicious Key Lime Pies? These items are never mentioned in any of the newspaper ads for Kutchie’s. The ads primarily focus on Kutchie’s seafood, steaks and prime rib, things that the KLP poster rarely mentions. However, these ads were from the 80s and 90s. Several Redditors do recall eating burgers and key lime pie at Kutchie’s, and a 2005 news article (the only online reference to Kutchie’s prior to the KLP posts) mentions these items as well. A redditor who visited the restaurant in late 2005 said that Kutchie’s was known for their burgers. This information suggests that the KLP poster primarily visited the restaurant in the late 90s to 2000s, or that they are especially obsessed with this time period.
Keywords/Topics of Interest:
There are many recurring themes in the websites that KLP messages are posted on. It’s clear that the poster Googles certain keywords and comments on the pages that show up. The most common keywords are “key lime pie”, “burgers” and “kutchie”. However, some keywords have no apparent connection to Kutchie’s Key Lime Pies. Below is a list of common keywords and topics.
Kutchie’s related keywords
-Key lime pie
-Food in general
-”Kutchie”, “Kutch”, etc., ”Pelaez”, “Anita”, “Captain”
-Asheville, NC
-Florida Keys / Key West
-”Goody Goody”
-Hemingway (lived in Florida Keys)
-Reggae (‘kutchie’ is a slang term used in reggae music)
-Sharks (possibly related to Florida Keys?)
-Jake Carson (a pseudonym used by the KLP poster)
-Urban legends / myths
-“Net worth” and “market value”
-Sex in general. KLP never comments on actual pornography but frequently posts on sex advice websites, risqué tabloid articles, “hot girl” pictures and such. KLP seems to use keywords to find some sex related articles.
-Sex-related keywords: “size matters”, “better than sex” (KLP often mentions cheeseburgers being better than sex) , “junk”, “package”, “dick”, “naked”, “body image”, “modelling”
-Pop culture and celebrities. Oddly, while KLP’s posts make many references to boomer era celebrities like Don Rickles and Jonny Carson, the websites he comments on are more often related to contemporary pop culture.
-Politics. KLP began posting on political websites and incorporating references to American politics into his posts in early 2014. The poster seems to be a fan of Donald Trump.
The KLP poster frequently returns to pages that he previously posted on to leave more comments. Sometimes he does this several years after the original comment was posted.
The earliest known KLP post dates back to October 2009. KLP posts were made on a regular basis until late 2016, when the posting frequency decreased markedly. This decrease in posting coincides with the first mention of KLP on Reddit. Only a handful of posts were made after 2016 and it’s often difficult to tell whether these were posted by the real KLP poster or by copycats.
Many of the websites that KLP posts on don’t track post dates, so this info may not be entirely accurate.
Posting Frequency:
The KLP poster is very prolific. More than 700 KLP posts have been catalogued so far, and the real number of KLP posts is undoubtedly higher as many posts have been deleted or are not accessible to search engines. For example, the poster apparently had a Disqus account with over 1400 messages, but all of those posts have been deleted. The sheer volume of KLP messages leads many people to believe they were posted by a bot. But even if we assume that the real number of KLP posts is 5x higher than the numbers catalogued so far, it’s feasible for an obsessive person to post that much: from 2009 to 2016, that’s just over one post a day. Looking at post dates, the poster’s behaviour doesn’t seem automated. He never posts more than 10 or so messages in a single day. The number of posts per day varies and he sometimes takes long breaks from posting. Here is a graph of KLP’s posting frequency by month from 2009 to 2016. The increased posting frequency in 2013 marks the introduction of copy-pasted messages, which I’ll talk more about later.
Accounts & Pseudonyms:
KLP posts his comments under a variety of pseudonyms. Jake Carson, Willie Jordan and Roger Ramjet are the most common ones. Roger Ramjet is a cartoon from the 60s, one episode of which involves spies hiding messages in pies (!) The origin of the other names is unclear. Less commonly, KLP posts under celebrity names (often misspelled) or random American sounding names. This post contains a list of KLP’s known pseudonyms along with analysis.
It’s notable that Jake Carson, Willie Jordan and Roger Ramjet seem to have different posting habits. Jake Carson’s posts are almost entirely copy-pasted, while Willie’s are often unique and respond to the content of the articles they’re posted on. Willie’s posts also contain a LOT of sexual content. Sometimes, like in this post, they’re almost pornographic. Roger Ramjet tends to comment on articles that seem unrelated to KLP’s usual interests.
Most commonly, KLP posts on sites that don’t require users to sign up for an account, e.g. blogs and news sites. However he does have accounts on Google+, Facebook, (?!) and others. The Key Lime Pie poster almost never uses avatars. However, I’ve found 2 accounts that do use them. One uses a picture of a woman that can be traced back to a Twitter account with a similar name to one of KLP’s pseudonyms. I won’t link that one for privacy reasons. The other one uses an avatar of “PowerMatt”, an obscure mascot for an electronics company – I have no idea what the connection is.
Some KLP accounts list their location as “Spanish Fork, Utah”. I’ve looked into this and I couldn’t find any connection between Spanish Fork and Kutchie’s/Asheville/etc.
Posting Changes Over Time
The earliest KLP posts, from 2009 to 2010, are quite unlike later ones. They’re relevant to the articles they’re posted on, they’re short, and they essentially sound like normal restaurant reviews. The only odd thing about them is that the restaurant doesn’t exist. Here are some links to representative posts: Cristie Brinkley, Jonny Carson, Jenna S. This long, eccentric post by Vinne Gambini is the one exception. The posts get longer and weirder as time goes on, taking a definite sexual turn in 2013 (Willie Jordan – NSFW) but each post remains unique. The poster only starts copypasting his messages in June 2013.
From then on, most KLP posts are the same few messages copypasted over and over, with occasional additions to the original text. The copypasted posts are, in order of introduction: “Hello Ladies” (introduced 07/13), “It just doesn’t get better than this” (10/13), “Don’s Scenes” (04/14), “Don Rickles and Jonny Carson” (04/14), “Captain Kutchie Never Makes Up Stories” (07/14), “One Wild And Crazy Guy” (09/15), “PieGasms Healed All My Symptoms” (12/15) and “Hey Bob” (11/16). I’ve compiled examples of the copypasted posts on Pastebin:
In 2017, only 3 KLP messages were posted. They were all copypastes, and since KLP had been discussed on Reddit previously it’s possible that these messages were not posted by KLP himself. Finally, a new message, “oh no he’s back”, was posted 3 times in January 2018. The KLP poster has not been active since that time.
This post by LabondGozey and this post by me go into further detail about the evolution of KLP’s posting.
There are a few KLP posts that merit further attention. In 2012, KLP made a handful of posts about, a gold broker site supposedly owned by Oswald Pelaez. Here is a pastebin of these posts. The Internet Archive shows that in 2011, this domain hosted an MLM scam site run by the company Numis Networks. I cannot verify whether or not Oswald Pelaez (Jr or Sr) was involved with this site, although Oswald Pelaez Sr did make a scammy sounding post on his Facebook account in 2012. What was the motive behind these posts? Was KLP advertising Oswald’s site? Was KLP advertising his own site? Did he just see the word “oz” and connect it to Oswald? Very strange.
The “Hey Bob” message is particularly interesting. “Hey Bob” was first posted in November 2016 – shortly after the first reddit post about KLP. Some of the Hey Bob messages acknowledge the readers, implying that the poster discovered the Reddit threads about him. One message contains the line "Caution, I think we’re being watched", another “Do you ever feel like we’re being watched… "The Lord Loves A Working Man". And to make this one easy for you, it's from "The Jerk"!....1979 with Steve Martin….
A few months after the KLP mystery was first mentioned on Reddit, carinhabsburg found a “Kutchie Pelaez” account on Facebook. They friended this account and soon afterwards, “Kutchie” began sending her creepy messages in foreign languages. In my opinion, the Facebook account is an obvious fake. It was created in October 2016, a month after the first Reddit post about KLP. The stuff “Kutchie Pelaez” posts is completely different from the KLP poster’s writing style. And no one would spend 8 years writing key lime pie posts for the payoff of sending someone a lame creepypasta message. There are Kutchie Pelaez accounts on Youtube and Deviantart that use the same avatar as the Facebook account, probably made by the same person.
Clues On Reddit
Some Reddit users have shared information that might help identify the KLP poster:
-A user claiming to be Oswald’s granddaughter said that “Kuchie and Oswald are older now and not in great health, so I highly doubt they have the capacity or interest of starting this internet mystery”.
-A user contacted one of Kutchie’s sons on Facebook. The son was “just as confused by it as we are”.
-A Redditor talked to a guy who used to date a waitress at Kutchie’s. He said that “Kutchie was crazy, even back then, and it was probably him making the posts.”
-A user’s friend recalled that “there was an autistic or mentally challenged guy that either worked there or lived close by and hung out there that always tried to get us to get the key lime pie“
-A therapist who works with autistic people said that the posts were typical for someone on the spectrum.
-A psychiatry resident doubted that the posts were made by an autistic person because the level of clarity in the posts fluctuates a lot.
-A user contacted someone who knew Oswald Pelaez Sr. This person explained that Oswald Sr. is suffering from dementia and sometimes forgets that his restaurant is no longer open. They believed it’s very likely that Oswald Sr. was the one making the posts. I will discuss this post in more detail later.
What we know about the Key Lime Pie poster
From the evidence gathered so far, we can make some educated guesses about the poster. The Key Lime Pie poster frequented Kutchie’s, especially during the late 90s to 2000s when the restaurant was known for its burgers. His writing style and the pop culture references he makes suggest that he is older, probably in the 60-80 age range. His early posts sounded mostly normal and responded to the articles they were posted on, but they got progressively longer and weirder over time. The poster is aware that his posts are being discussed online and this seems to put him off from posting.
In this section I’ll attempt to address the most popular theories about the Key Lime Pie poster.
1. The poster is a rogue spambot
The high volume of posting and the repetitive nature of the posts leads many people to believe that the KLP poster is a spambot. What if the Pelaezes paid for a bot subscription years ago and forgot to turn it off? Or what if the bot is used to test websites’ anti-spam measures by seeing if its comments get removed?
I think the bot explanation is unlikely for the following reasons: 1) the first KLP posts appeared at least a year after the restaurant had closed; 2) the posting style changes over time and doesn’t become particularly spammy until 2013; 3) a spambot could not write thematically consistent posts like KLP does; 4) the poster often incorporates references to current events and even acknowledges Redditors reading the posts; 5) many of the comments are posted on the same websites (e.g. Facebook and Google Books) or websites with the same framework (Wordpress blogs) so it’s unlikely that it’s testing website security.
2. The posts were made to cover up bad publicity about the restaurant or the Pelaez family
If unflattering results came up when people googled terms related to Kutchie’s or the Pelaezes, the family might have tried burying them under thousands of posts of nonsense. This is a known technique called Reverse SEO. Aside from a brief mention of Kutchie being “crazy” on Reddit and a minor land dispute from the 70s, I can’t find any evidence of bad publicity… but maybe that means the Reverse SEO worked? 9 years of posting seems like massive overkill, though, and the eccentric nature of the posts only makes people want to investigate Kutchie’s further.
3. The posts were made to test SEO techniques
The KLP posts contain lots of googleable keywords – “Key Lime Pie”, “Kutchie”, “Kutcharitaville”, “Anita/Oswald Pelaez” and so on. Perhaps the KLP poster was trying to see which types of posts, on which site at which time, would get the highest page rank for these keywords on search engines. These findings could theoretically be generalized for use in SEO and advertising. But if this is the case, why reference a real restaurant and real people?
4. The posts are coded communication
What if the key lime pie isn’t actually key lime pie? What if the posts are code for something sinister? Many people feel that the odd language used in the posts looks like coded communication. The key lime pie and Kutchie’s references could act as signals, so that people in the know could google those terms to find coded information in other parts of the message.
There are some interesting findings that relate to this theory…The pseudonym “Roger Ramjet” references a cartoon about secrets being hidden inside pies. “Kutchie” is Jamaican slang for a weed pipe – perhaps KLP is engaged in drug trafficking? As the poster points out repeatedly, Kutchie’s is located near the Biltmore Estate in NC, which has been the subject of various conspiracies. There are some odd links between a “Captain Pelaez” (unrelated to Kutchie), Anita Jones, and the Navy. This theory is far-fetched IMO, but it’s fun to think about.
5. The posts are part of an ARG
This theory makes a lot of sense at first. But ARGs should have leads that allow users to dig deeper into mystery, and people have been looking into KLP for years with no progress. Maybe it’s just a really hard ARG? Plus the timeframe is extremely long for an ARG. Apparently there are ARG’s that have gone on for more than 5 years, but they sound much more interactive than the Kutchie’s stuff.. Interestingly, Kutchie’s was mentioned by Stephanie Lawson, a character in a known ARG – see this reddit thread. The Stephanie Lawson ARG has something to do with a church in North Carolina. I don’t think this means that the KLP poster is involved though.
6. The poster is a troll
KLP’s behaviour certainly seems trollish. Posting ridiculous stuff about a restaurant that’s been closed for years and talking about penis size in a key lime pie review seems like the kind of thing a troll would do. But would a troll really stick to his bit for 8 years – especially when his trolling didn’t attract any attention until 2016? Trolls like attention, so it makes no sense that he mostly stopped posting when Reddit took notice of him. And if he’s just having fun writing silly posts, why involve real people in it?
7. The poster is mentally ill
I think this is the most convincing theory. At the very least, it’s obvious that anyone who would spend 8 years making these posts isn’t quite right in the head. The poster’s intense obsession with key lime pie could point to autism. His crazy stories about Kutchie’s and his odd writing style could point to schizophrenia. The KLP posts do display some hallmarks of formal thought disorder, a language disturbance associated with psychosis and schizophrenia, and sometimes with autism:
Circumstantiality – An inability to answer a question without giving excessive, unnecessary detail
Derailment - Thought and/or speech move from the topic's track onto another which is obliquely related or unrelated
“Flight of ideas" – abrupt leaps from one topic to another, albeit with discernable links between successive ideas, perhaps governed by similarities between subjects or, in somewhat higher grades, by rhyming, puns, and word plays
Perseveration – Persistent repetition of words or ideas even when another person attempts to change the topic
Stilted speech – Speech characterized by the use of words or phrases that are flowery, excessive, and pompous
Despite all this, the posts seem strangely lucid. As a Reddit poster noted earlier, the level of lucidity in KLP’s posts seems to fluctuate, so a developmental disorder like autism might be less likely. As strange of the posts are, they exhibit a striking sense of humour and a sort of self-awareness. They don’t have the delusions of persecution that are common in psychosis. Compare KLP’s posts to Karin Waldegrave’s or Francis E. Dec’s, for example.
Aside from the length and the fact that they’re posted all over the internet, the posts seem almost normal to me. The sense of humour and The Capitalization Of Every Word strikes me as very “dad-like”. Think /oldpeoplefacebook - I can imagine someone’s out of touch dad embarrassing them by making similar posts on their Facebook wall. On the other hand, would a mentally healthy person spend 8 years basically harassing a random restaurant owner? Would a mentally healthy person post Key Lime Pie comments on people’s obituary pages? I don’t think so.
Another possibility is dementia. The fact that the posts get less coherent over time could suggest a degenerative disorder. Oswald Pelaez Sr. is currently in his 90s, and this post by stitches_lk states that he has dementia and is the likely culprit behind the KLP posts. However, I have trouble believing this theory as Oswald Sr. has a Facebook account and his posts there don’t resemble the KLP posts at all. They are short with very poor grammar and spelling - here are some examples. He doesn’t seem to understand how to use Facebook, much less post thousands of messages on different websites. Based on this I ruled out Oswald Sr. as the KLP poster.
The post about an “autistic or mentally challenged guy” at Kutchie’s makes a lot of sense, but I’m skeptical of it. If the guy was a regular, Kutchie’s family members would most likely know about him and know where the posts were coming from. It could be a false memory or just someone having a laugh. But it’s still possible.
Summary: Who is the KLP poster?
My top suspect is Oswald Pelaez Jr., a.k.a. Captain Kutchie himself. He is in his 60s, which fits with the pop culture references the KLP poster makes. He would of course know a lot about Kutchie’s Key West Café. He is not mentally ill, as far as I know, but he seems to be an eccentric guy. Maybe he had too much time on his hands after his restaurant closed, and the KLP posting started out as a dad joke that got out of control. Perhaps he stopped posting because he was creeped out by all the attention he got on Reddit. I am not very confident about this, though. I believe the poster could easily be someone else who’s yet to be identified.
I hope you found this post informative, and I hope it inspires Redditors to dig deeper into this mystery. I'd like to thank everyone who helped investigate the mystery, particularly LabondGozey for his excellent posts. I'll leave you with this...
Are you still finding it hard to believe that "Kutcharitaville" really exists and that it's not just a figment of your imagination? Or that Donald Trump just became the President Elect. Or does Captain Kutchie Pelaez and his Beautiful Wife Anita really bake World Famous Key Lime Pies and that Carrier Air Conditioners are staying right here in America. Well Bob, all I can tell you, in the words of the Famous Captain Kutchie Pelaez (Keep The Faith Baby!) And Really, Really Believe It And Close You're Eyes And Someday It Will Really, Really Come True!!!!...
P.S.: Check out /KeyLimePieMystery for more discussion of this case.
submitted by MarkDungo333 to UnresolvedMysteries [link] [comments]

2018.08.09 17:12 Non-equilibrium Mohamed Atta and Wolfgang
Atta Associate Surfaces in South Pacific PUBLISHED SEPTEMBER 15, 2006
!!wolfOne of Mohamed Atta's closest associates in Florida before the 9/11 attack today carries a chest on his yacht filled with several million dollars in new bills, automatic weapons, passports from a half-dozen nations, and works for a major international Mobster.
Wolfgang Bohringer, a German pilot, identified by Atta’s one-time girlfriend Amanda Keller as one of Mohamed Atta’s closest associates in Florida during the run-up to the 9.11 attack, and one of the handful of people the terrorist ringleader called “my brother,” recently resurfaced on a tiny island in the South Pacific, in the Republic of Kiribati.
There he announced his intention to set up a flight school on Fanning Island, almost a thousand miles south of Hawaii and one of the most remote places on Earth. Bohringer plans to teach pilots how to fly DC3’s, the 70-year old aviation workhorse frequently used in weapons and drug smuggling.
The island has no electricity, and a population of barely one hundred souls. While it hardly seems an ideal place for a flight school, the remote location and lack of official scrutiny may make it ideal for something.
Bohringer, accompanied by a woman he reportedly met over the Internet named Ana Maria Uhr, almost immediately aroused suspicion, after he announced plans for a flight school training what local citizens suspected would be an assortment of smugglers and mercenaries to fly DC3’s.
Alarmed local residents contacted the madcowmorningnews about the German pilot, offering new details which prompted us to take a closer look at him as a possible link to the elusive global network which British Prime Minister Tony Blair, two weeks after 9/11, said had assisted the terrorist hijackers.
Mohamed Atta & the 'Pirate of Prague'
During the same period Wolfgang Bohringer was hanging out with Mohamed Atta, Bohringer was the personal pilot of a notorious Czech Mobster named Victor Kozeny, who is known as the ‘Pirate of Prague.' Kozeny owns a private island in the Bahamas, travels on an Irish passport, and is currently fighting extradition to the U.S. on charges of massive financial fraud and allegedly paying multi-million dollar bribes to government officials in the Republic of Azerbaijan in an effort to take-over that oil-rich country’s State Oil Company.
After defrauding thousands of people around the world while traveling on an Irish passport, including the chairman of the Northern Ireland peace talks,!!ozeny-victor Senator George Mitchell, Kozeny sought refuge in the Bahamas.
Bohringer had opened a flight school in Naples, Florida in 1996, illegal for a foreigner. But he hadn't gotten in any trouble with the FAA.
Perhaps his association as the personal pilot for a major Eastern European Mafia figure named Victor Kozeny had helped. Kozeny is the subject of investigations by the FBI and US Customs, and was recently charged in the U.S. with stealing $182 million dollars by the Manhattan District Attorney.
Bohringer moved to Atlanta to began a position as corporate pilot in February 1, 2001, according to his online bio, for a software company called HBOC. No doubt it is just a coincidence, or dashed bad luck, but Bohringer's new employer was involved in a major accounting scandal which cost shareholders $9 billion of lost value in a single day.
A Czech Mobster with an Irish Passport in the Bahamas Kozeni“HBOC was found to be a mob bust-out,” a financial analyst emailed us.
Kozeny, we were shocked to discover, had at some point in the mid-90's controlled one-third of the entire Czechoslovakian economy. "Kozeny bought factories and 'rides' on pipelines, meaning they crossed land he owned and paid big for the privilege."
With his ill-gotten gains, Kozeny tried to buy off top officials in the former Soviet Republic of Azerbaijan to gain control of that country's state-owned oil company. One man already convicted in the scheme, Hans Bodmer, belonged to a network of Russian oligarchs, one of whom, Pyotr Aven, has been accused by a Russian corruption task force of being engaged in drug trafficking.
Kozeny's partners in the Azeri scheme included a managing director of Hank Greenburg's American Insurance Group (AIG). Greenberg was forced to step down amid the Eliot Spitzer probe, a scandal, it is rumored, which involved a major Bush family and associates' international money-laundering operation that has spanned more than a generation and has been used to illegally fund US elections since the Nixon era.
!!kozeny_policista_soudAIG was founded from Asia Life/CV Starr, a Shanghai-based international import/export and insurance firm founded in 1919 by Cornelius V. Starr, an Office of Strategic Services (OSS) operative in Southeast Asia during World War II. Clinton antagonist Kenneth Starr is his nephew.
Currently Kozeny is awaiting extradition to the U.S. from the Bahamas. A prosecutor there revealed in court that Kozeny possesses an astonishing number of passports, including six from Ireland alone. "He appears to be able to produce foreign passports at will," stated the prosecutor.
The Atlanta Connection? Atta and Al Shehhi flew or drove to Atlanta on several occasions during the month of February 2001. To meet with Wolfgang? On two of those visits, Atta rented a plane, the first with a pilot, the second unescorted, and visited an area of Tennessee where he observed a dam, and several nuclear fuel production facilities.
!!chestOn his yacht, the “Argos,” Bohringer was carrying a chest filled with “stacks of brand new hundred dollar bills, more money that I have ever seen in my life,” wrote one local resident.
Like his former boss, Bohringer is no slouch in the passport department…Aboard Wolfgang's yacht were passports from a half-dozen nations, and a cache of firearms, including a Glock. He claimed to be an arms dealer, and acknowledged his involvement with Eastern European Mobsters. Bohringer also reportedly admitted knowing Mohamed Atta, but stating to several islanders that another German pilot in Naples, Rex Gasteiger, was to blame for linking him to 9/11.
Soon several residents quietly reported surprisingly-deep suspicions to local authorities. "To me Wolfgang is carrying dirty money, lots of it,” wrote one.
"If he can gets a flight school going it does not take a stretch of the imagination to see he would sell it to some else who sells it to someone else and Honolulu gets vaporized. He seems to know the money tree and could be working to set things up for others to do so and so has been funded to do so.”
!!wolfgLocals on Fanning Island sent us the pictures of Wolfgang in this story.
Worried about "the 9/11 thing" "A month before Wolfgang left with his boat he met Ana on the internet. He sent tickets and credit card for her to meet him in Paris. He would take her as crew on a round the world trip. First stop Hawaii. But when they were a day out of Hawaii he informed her they were sailing to another island and not stopping at Hawaii."
“My friend crewed with them to Samoa, and on the trip he found Wolfgang liked having his picture taken,” one local resident wrote us.
On the trip Ana confided she was really worried about Wolfgang. He seemed to running from something. So she told him what she’d read about him on the internet about the 9/11 thing."
"Wolfgang alleviated my concerns with simple explanations about an unhappy business partnership with the guy who bought his flight school,” the resident wrote. “But, it was clear he hated Jews. He told some very bad jokes about ovens, Jews, bread, and blacks."
!valWe compared the new pictures with what Amanda Keller had told us about Wolfgang. She called Bohringer “The Iceman,” she said, because of his resemblance to a character in the movie “Top Gun,” the rival to Tom Cruise played by Val Kilmer. And indeed, the resemblance is remarkably close.
Keller also said Wolfgang won a lottery to get his green card. The locals on Fanning Island report that Bohringer told them that story too. So clearly Amanda Keller had known Bohringer.
Her testimony has once again proven correct, as it also was when she told of helping Atta move from Deep Creek, part of the recently-incorporated town of North Port. Documents made public after the Moussaoui trial show Atta was sending faxes from a Postal Express in Deep Creek on March 11, 2001, at exactly the time Amanda Keller says he was there.
Fibbers Bureau of Investigation
The Moussaoui trial produced the largest trove of government documents about the hijackers' South Florida movements. The Reporters Committee for Freedom of the Press was instrumental in the release of many of those court documents. The FBI fought them every step of the way.
Now we know why. The documents prove they’ve been lying.
“Him (Atta)and Wolfgang drove around in the red convertible a lot,” she said. “Their favorite place to eat was Hooters in Sarasota. They got kicked out of Hooters for grabbing their boobs.”
“He spoke German with Wolfgang, who was in his thirties. Wolfgang was with Mohamed when he came by the nursing home to see me one time. Mohamed called certain people—Arabic people—‘my brother.’ And I was wondering how he had so many family members. Like gang members do, ‘this is my brother,’” she said.
“But not all Arabs. So it wasn’t like just anyone Muslim was his brother. He called Wolfgang and Juergen ‘my brother,’ too. He and Wolfgang were very tight, they went everywhere together. When he came into the picture they were together all the time.”
Turn left at the Maldives
The story of Wolfgang’s life to date is studded, according to people we spoke with who knew him, with activities considerably out of the ordinary. While sailing around the world on a 47-foot yacht, for example, instead of crossing the Indian Ocean from the coast of Africa on a direct line, he took a “detour” to Bombay, where he met his wife Sujita.
He was one of the first of the ‘German element’ to arrive in Florida, in 1996, when he opened a flight school in Naples. Prior to arriving in Naples he was associated with an organization called “The Flying Club of Munich,” in Augsburg, Germany.
In Spring 2002, he became a naturalized U.S. citizen.
Like Rudi Dekkers, Wolfgang was notorious in aviation circles for bad behavior. We found records of his scrapes in the files of airport authorities in Florida, including a letter sent by a former employee soliciting to offer private flight instruction at his Wolf Aero, Bohringer's flight school, without authority and in violation of FAA rules was in the airport records in Naples.
“Wolfgang showed up from Munich in the mid-1990’s and immediately began operating a flight school illegally,” stated Naples flight instructor Marcus Huber, a flight instructor in Naples. “He’s half Swiss, half German.”
A "Hall Pass" from the FAA
Rudi Dekkers, Wolfgang also seems to have had a “hall pass” from federal authorities, which embittered other foreign flight trainers not similarly well-connected.
“When Wolfgang applied for an E-2 Visa, he made up a fake company, a cleaning service,” Huber told us. “Sometimes it makes me mad that a criminal gets preference.”
In the wake of the Sept 11 disaster, U.S. officials repeatedly promised explanations. But it was left to British Prime Minister Tony Blair to sketch out the Cliff notes version of the case against Bin Laden. He said, "Al Qaeda is a terrorist organization with ties to a global network."
Almost five years after Tony Blair first told the world that a “global network” provided assistance to the terrorist hijackers while they were in the U.S., what is happening on a tiny island in the South Pacific may point towards the international organization in question.
"You have a network of people who obtain certain information and… sell it to whomever would be the highest bidder," explained Sibel Edmonds, former FBI translator, who was muzzled by U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft, who went to the Supreme Court to ensure her silence about… something.
"There are certain points where you have your drug-related activities combined with money laundering and information laundering, converging with your terrorist activities… Post-9/11 intelligence 'failures' include the willful quashing by the Government of investigations tracing these criminal networks."
Why no push to find the Germans?
Atta's German buddy Bohringer works for a global network. Did it assist Atta and the terrorist hijackers? Was there a connection between the larger organization, or network, behind gangster financier Victor Kozeny, and that of the terrorists in Florida plotting to kill Americans on the 11th of September in 2001?
Amanda Keller was not the only eyewitness quoted mentioning Atta’s German associates. Atta’s landlord for a brief week told reporters about a wild 3-day weekend Amanda and Atta spent in Key West, along with another girl named Linda.
“The two girls were introduced to two men from Germany that they said were Mohamed’s friends,” Tony LaConca told the Charlotte Sun-Herald.
When we first learned that all of Atta’s associates in Florida had not been Arab, we were understandably eager to learn more about the terrorist ringleaders’ two German friends.
Sun-Herald reporter Elaine Allen-Emrich had apparently felt the same way… "The FBI in Tampa would neither confirm nor deny that any agents were interviewing people in the North Port area,” she reported.
“Asked for more information about Atta’s wild weekend, an FBI spokesperson identified only as ‘Pam’ said, “We recommend that you check in with CNN for current information. Any press statements can be found on televised stations like CNN.”
We went looking for ourselves. The results are in “Welcome to TERRORLAND.
We didn’t feel like “checking in with CNN.”
submitted by Non-equilibrium to 911OfficialStory [link] [comments]

2016.03.15 03:14 solaranthrone I'm lonely, and i'm afraid I'm going to die alone.

I'm 29, gay, and I've never been on a date. NEVER. i'm incredibly shy, and i've had issues with self-esteem my whole life. when i was in high school,i was on ritalin, and as a result, never ate anything (ritalin can affect appetite) the one guy i was with consistently never wanted to kiss or hug or cuddle, he wanted to suck, and fuck. he would tell me that he "loved my body", but he never wanted to spend any time at all just hanging out. i knew it was an empty relationship, but i was lonely and i needed some kind of physical contact. fast forward to now, and ive gained weight (not a lot,but i am overweight and definitely not skinny anymore) and i just feel ugly all the time. ive litereally been dieting for two years, and ive lost only 40 lbs. now that my loneliness has finally begun to cause an almost physical pain, i've been trying to meet guys in my area. the problem is everyone in my area (sarasota) is old, and i want a relationship with someone whose on my same level,but i always feel like i don't deserve anyone, and because i'm so shy, going to bars alone to meet people just isn't an option for me. i've turned to craiglist and grindr in desperation, and after getting stood up by five separate people last week (i figured i just bite the bullet and meet a bunch of people all in a row) i'm just feeling so worthless and ugly and rejected and alone. if a gay guy cant even get anonymous sex on the internet (which i didn't want at first but then i figured it was all i could hope for) then there has to be something really wrong with him right? i've tried to kill myself three times before, and i'm on the maximum fuking dose of wellbutrin, and im still fucking miserable. all i can think is that if this is what its like when im 29, what happens when im 30? i've been lying to myself for soo long, pretending like i don't want anyone around, but it's like this hole in my chest that just wont go away and i never cry but i've been crying all week because all i want is for someone, anyone to like me. i want to know what its like to be in love. im 29 years old and ive never had my heart broken b/c nobody ever wanted me enough t break it in the first place. i hate being fat and bald and alone. sorry i know this post was really long and depressing but i just needed to say it or think it or whatever.
submitted by solaranthrone to offmychest [link] [comments]

2016.03.07 02:32 Mylnari $800 to $1000 preferably closer to 800 but I can stretch a little

What will you be doing with this PC? Be as specific as possible, and include specific games or programs you will be using.
What is your maximum budget before rebates/shipping/taxes?
When do you plan on building/buying the PC? Note: beyond a week or two from today means any build you receive will be out of date when you want to buy.
**What, exactly, do you need included in the budget?
It would be really nice to have a keyboard upgrade with backlit keys but its not a necessity. If we can squeeze one into the budget without compromising the build that would be great.
Which country (and state/province) will you be purchasing the parts in? If you're in US, do you have access to a Microcenter location?
If reusing any parts (including monitor(s)/keyboard/mouse/etc), what parts will you be reusing? Brands and models are appreciated.
Lg Monitor
Keyboard (Unless we can fit an upgrade with backlit keys into the build)
DvD Drive
Will you be overclocking? If yes, are you interested in overclocking right away, or down the line? CPU and/or GPU?
Are there any specific features or items you want/need in the build? (ex: SSD, large amount of storage or a RAID setup, CUDA or OpenCL support, etc)
Do you have any specific case preferences (Size like ITX/microATX/mid-towefull-tower, styles, colors, window or not, LED lighting, etc), or a particular color theme preference for the components?
Do you need a copy of Windows included in the budget? If you do need one included, do you have a preference?
**Thanks for all the help and advice.
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2015.02.17 07:56 futuremrsmd To Yancey - I know why those flowers were so beautiful

Yancey and I started dating 3 years ago. He was about 10 years older than me, just entering his early forties. I couldn't even imagine how he hadn't been swooped up yet - he was a physician, and so skilled that the hospital system he worked for sent him all over the region to train new doctors and advise staff on better practices. He spent so much time in Sarasota that he leased an apartment there - that's where I met him. He lived in the complex across the street from mine, explaining that his permanent home was in Jacksonville. It was perfect - he was in Sarasota about 3 nights a week, and devoted every second of his spare time to me. It didn't take long before I recognized that I was falling in love.
I never thought I'd get "tied down" - so our arrangement gave me the space I needed to feel comfortable. However, after a couple years I really started to hit a "nesting" phase - I wanted to share a home with him. I maybe even wanted to have children with him. The more I pushed the issue, the more nervous he became. Not as if he didn't want to, but as if he couldn't tell me why he wasn't able to. He was so sincere and apologetic... I thought perhaps he was afraid of commitment and would always at heart be a bachelor. It didn't take long before I started worrying that there was another woman.
I did what I never thought I'd ever do - I started snooping. I didn't like what I found, at all.
Once I knew the truth, I did what I knew I needed to do. I prepared myself to let Yancey know that I knew his secrets, so we could move on with our lives. He was going to be in town, and as usual, we had plans to spend a couple days together at his apartment. When I arrived, I almost didn't recognize him. He was like a new man - refreshed, vibrant, youthful, FREE. I was so enamored with the new Yancey. Given my recent - albeit secret - vengeful activities, I was slightly confused - but I was falling in love all over again, and none of that mattered anymore.
A few weeks later, when we met for our regular rendevouz, Yancey handed me some beautiful flowers - he said they sprung up in a sleepy corner of his yard at his Jacksonville home - "a diamond in the rough," he said - and he explained that he was immediately reminded of me. He got down on one knee and asked me to marry him.
I should have known that at this point, I was pushing my luck.
Certainly he'd find out soon what I'd done - but I just couldn't resist the new man he had become. Part of me thought we actually would get married and live happily ever after... god, I was so naive. The things I would do and believe when blinded by love.
I was cooking dinner by myself with the local 6pm news on in the background when I heard it... "Jennifer Varner, initially presumed to have left her husband and her home with her two young children, is now thought to be missing under suspicious circumstances. Her husband, Dr. Yancey Varner, has been identified as a suspect..." Almost as if on queue, my phone rang. It was Yancey. I let it go to voicemail, my entire body trembling. I knew it would come to this eventually.
If she had found out about me first, the tables might have been turned. But unfortunately for my fiance's wife, that wasn't the case. After some serious research weeks earlier - the internet really leaves nothing to mystery - I found that Yancey was "happily married" with two young children - no wonder he was so gun shy on progressing our own relationship. By the time I found out, I was well past my prime - over the hill, fertility-wise. I had wasted my final good years on him... I'd never felt such a rage. What a bitch, that wife of his. Tying him down , making him sneak around just to be with his true love. Baiting him in with those kids of theirs.
I'd covered my tracks quite well - well enough to buy me enough time to make myself scarce. The day it all happened, I waited across the street until she came home in that stupid, pretentious SUV of hers with those two kids. I strolled right in - their back door was not only unlocked but wide open, allowing their clueless dog to roam in and out.
She was easy - I caught her from behind before she could make a sound. The kids were a little more squirrely, but given their size I made quick work of them as well. No one wants to be the product of a sham loveless marriage - I did them a favor.
Yancey's house was surrounded by trees, just as he'd described. He always talked about bringing me there, and I finally knew why he always made so many excuses not to. Oh well, the trees really came in handy - none of his neighbors had a view of his backyard. There was a corner towards the edge of his property overrun with weeds and dry, brittle soil. After a few hours of quietly digging in the moonlight, the hole was big enough for all three of them.
Based on the flowers he proposed to me with, they were great fertilizer.
I'd found some shopping lists in the kitchen written in her handwriting, and tried my best to duplicate it when I scrawled out the "Dear John" letter letting Yancey know his wife and children would be with her mother in South Carolina (Facebook came in handy - she really should have locked her profile).
After the local media started poking around and officials launched an investigation, Yancey tearfully told me about his double life, swearing he had nothing to do with his wife's disappearance. I was his one true love, he assured me. He told me the combination to the safe in his Jacksonville storage unit where he had enough money stashed for bail. He begged me to help him. He sounded so pathetic - not the man I had fallen in love with.
He was right, there was plenty of money there. Enough to survive on for at least ten years, but after all the hell he'd put me through, I figured I deserved a bit more of a cushion. After revealing the burial site to the local authorities - I told them Yancey had described it to me during a drunken confession - I needed an agent just to handle all the interview and press requests. I'm even in negotiations for a Lifetime movie.
When all is said and done, I should have more than enough money to raise my son and give him a really good life. He's due in June - a Gemini, just like me! I think I'll name him Yancey, just like his father.
Isn't it wonderful how life works out?
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2014.08.14 22:25 tabledresser [Table] IamA (Shark Scientist) AMA!

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Date: 2014-08-14
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How can we, as normal citizens of the web and real world, help raise awareness for sharks and the oceans? Great question!
If you eat seafood, make sure it's from a sustainable fishery. Many sharks are caught as bycatch (so, by accident, but still caught none-the-less) and then discarded. Make sure your seafood is shark-friendly!
Do not buy any shark products. This includes, but is not limited to, shark fin soup, shark leather products, medicinal shark products, souvenirs (such as real shark jaws, real shark tooth necklaces or other ornamentation, shark pups in jars, etc.) and more.
Properly educate yourself on sharks! The beauty of the internet is that access to information is easy. The downfall of the internet is that the information you're accessing may be wrong. Make sure you're getting your information from credible organizations or scientists. David Shiffman, a PhD student from the University of Miami, recently published a list of the best shark biologists/conservationists to follow on Twitter via Scientific American.
Talk to your peers about sharks. As a shark scientist/advocate, I realized there wasn't enough accessible information for students, teachers and parents to have about sharks, which gave birth to my Sarasota Fins program. There are other programs dedicated to shark conservation/education, and you should check them out!
Spread your knowledge about sharks. Your peers are more likely to get taught by you about sharks than any scientist.
What are your feelings toward Shark Week currently and the negativity surrounding it? Shark Week (Discovery Channel’s week-long shark program) does something really important that scientists seldom can do: it gets people discussing sharks. While scientists can churn out dozens of papers regarding these chomp-prone animals, the media drastically increases coverage of shark topics every year during this week. According to Upwell, a non-government organization (NGO) that observes ocean/marine media trends, Shark Week is the cause for the greatest increase in Twitter conversations about marine and conservation issues per year. The 27-year-old Shark Week reeled in 21.4 million viewers last year (2013) alone. Try having a published paper get that much attention.
Like many marine conservation scientists, I'm troubled by the tone of Shark Week in recent years. The “shark attack” programs perpetuate public fear and misunderstanding about sharks, the exact opposite of what this week used to stand for. Not to mention the "mockumentaries" like those of Submarine, "Old Hitler" and Megalodon are absolute rubbish.
I'm not a fan of Shark Week the past few years, I won't lie to you. But, I won't boycott Shark Week for its numerous faults.
I've sat through many phony shows, educating my friends on what's fact and what's there for the TV ratings. As a member of the generation who relies on technology the most, I hope to take advantage of the increased public interest to inject science and proven facts/research into the discussion.
TLDR: Shark Week has faults, but scientists can use the shark hype to properly educate the public.
What are your views towards aquariums? I think aquariums are a great way to educate people when executed properly. That's how I had my first encounter with marine life when I was smaller!
Which aquarium(s) has the best shark exhibit for those of us who do not like going into the deep blue sea? Arizona: Wildlife World Aquarium California: Aquarium of the Pacific Illinois: Shedd Aquarium Chicago Kentucky: Newport Aquarium Maryland: The National Aquarium of Baltimore Massachusetts: New England Aquarium New York: Coney Island Aquarium and Atlantis Aquarium North Carolina: North Carolina Aquarium Oregon: Oregon Coast Aquarium South Carolina: South Carolina Aquarium Virginia: Virginia Aquarium.
Edit: Bullet Problems. As for abroad, Okinawa Churaumi Aquarium in Okinawa, Japan also is the second largest aquarium in the world and has about 21,000 animals (740 different species)-- including sharks! Two Oceans in Cape Town, South Africa is pretty amazing, too.
What sort of misconceptions does the Discovery Channel try and pull off as fact? What are some good alternatives to shark week, if we still want shark themed educational programming? Lastly, what made you want to get into sharks as a field? Thanks shark girl! The main one that peeves myself and other shark scientists is the whole "Megalodon lives" thing. Guys, if there was a 60+ ft shark in the water, someone would have actually seen it. Megalodon was a really cool shark that is very, very extinct. And while Discovery briefly showed disclaimers at the beginning/end of the show (with such small print I had to squint with my glasses on), they also claimed "though certain events and characters in this film have been dramatized, sightings of 'Submarine' continue to this day."
That a network, who once was known for their great scientific documentaries and shows, even entertains such a notion is beyond belief.
National Geographic channel has "Sharkfest," usually around the same time as SharkWeek. I definitely say flip your channel to them.
As for what made me want to study sharks, I'm really fascinated by misunderstood predators, and sharks are the most misunderstood of all.
TLDR: Megalodon isn't real no matter what Shark Week says. Same with other sensationalized shark stories. Go to NatGeo's "Shark Fest" instead.
What are some common misconceptions about sharks/shark attacks? Shark bite numbers can actually be misleading. First, shark bites are discrete, random events—but they look like intent-based incidents. Shark bites are random, independent events: the likelihood of a shark attack happening somewhere does not depend on where/when the last one occurred. Second, clusters of shark bite incidents are misleading. Called “Poisson bursts”, this distribution was discovered after Ladislaus Bortkiewicz 1898 included a review of deaths among a Prussian soldier unit, all who were killed by horses. The odds of having a shark bite incident be followed by nothing for a long extended time are relatively equal as having a cluster occur.
As for misconceptions for sharks in general, they do not hunt humans. We are not on the menu. They are not blood thirsty animals out to get us.
P.S. That show describing sharks hunting being similar to serial killers forget that sharks "stalk" their prey for their own survival, not a twisted satisfaction like serial killers.
What is the most dangerous shark towards humans? Since1580, there have only been a total of 767 "attacks" (up to 2013; no longer called "attacks" but "encounters"). Keeping that in mind, great white sharks, bull sharks and tiger sharks are the sharks with the most encounters.
Can you train a shark? You can! Mote Marine Laboratory has trained sharks to hit specific targets for food. They can't do tricks like dolphins, but they are smart!
Why do the scientists on Shark Week say that sharks aren't dangerous while Shark Week keeps airing horror film like scenes of homies getting attacked by sharks? Sadly Shark Week likes to reel in ratings with sensationalized episodes. This means inflating stories and adding drama. You are more likely to die from a vending machine squishing you than a shark, yet you don't see Vending Machine Week anywhere (yet).
You are most likely around/close to a vending machine than a shark though. So it makes sense people are more likely to die from vending machines. You'd be surprised at how many times you've gone swimming that you're probably near a shark. You just don't know it!
You're also more at risk of dying from lightning, being trampled by a cow, having a fatal blow to the head from a coconut and real-life serious problems like heart attacks/disease.
Is a shark bite something that could happen to you? Yes. But I would worry more about something like heart disease more than I would about shark bites.
Your statistic on shark attacks is highly disingenuous. It is only counting confirmed attacks which a record has been left of. It's therefore meaningless to cite in answering a question about probabilities, and meaningless in general. Myself, as well as many other shark scientists, are quite confident in the gathering/reporting skills of George Burgess and the International Shark Attack File.
Sharks are wild animals. Accidents happen, though not often (especially considering the number of people entering oceans worldwide climbs every year). I'm confident in that the majority of shark attacks are reported and noted- the media loves to make a villian out of these animals- and even when a few are missing, they are still small numbers.
You have your opinion, but please know myself and other shark scientists disagree with it. That sort of thinking only distorts the image of these animals.
I agree it is unlikely, just showing the flaw behind the vending machine vs. shark logic. I see where you're coming from. It surprises people that an every day thing like a vending machine is more of a killer than sharks, though. And cows, I mean, look at those killers. (Note: the number varies year to year, obviously)
I have seen sharks while snorkeling in Oahu as well as Cancun. Beautiful creatures! Ooh, jealous! Hawaii is definitely on my itinerary.
You'd be surprised at how many times you've gone swimming that you're probably near a shark. You just don't know it! My irrational fear of sharks thanks you for this information. Your chances of being bit by a shark are very low, promise. Just practice safe swimming!
Ok, so sharks since your heartbeat in the water. is it true that if you encounter one and you manage to keep calm and your heart rate down that it would be less likely to attack. compared to if you start panicking and thrashing away ? I once had a friend who went snorkeling with me in the Galapagos. The tour guide told us to be calm when snorkeling over a small alley area... my friend thought he said to swim faster. The sharks definitely looked up to see what the commotion was all about.
Moral of the story? Staying calm will definitely help when being around sharks. Thrashing around will sound like injured prey, which can lead to curious sharks checking you out.
However, it doesn't mean you're 100% safe. If a shark seems to be displaying aggressive behavior, no matter how calm you stay, you should get out of the water.
Last updated: 2014-08-18 20:16 UTC
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2014.01.07 16:43 tabledresser [Table] IamA Resident Beer Professor at a top craft beer bar AMA!

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Date: 2014-01-07
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What would you say to an English Real Ale drinker who has been told all their life that beer from the US is of a lower quality than British and German beer? I'd tell them they are wrong. Seriously, the US scene has gone full blown experimental and produced some amazing products. European countries are really culturally stuck in their traditional beers. Go to Germany, good luck finding a Double IPA, go to Belgium, find something that's not fruity (from the yeast, not actual fruit)... not gonna happen. I love Belgians and hefeweizens and real ale, but the U.S. is expanding the beer scene and doing an amazing job at it.
As a German, what is a 'Double IPA'? (never heard of the shortcut) It's an extremely hoppy beer with very high alcohol, think 8% abv up to 10 or 11%
As someone from Belgium I must disagree, there are plenty of non 'fruity' beers you just got to know them. I feel like any beer that uses a belgian yeast strain has some sort of fruity property. I've been to Belgium beer hunting a few times. I'd love to learn some examples of non fruity beers though if you can give me some.
Are you as offended as I am that Redd's Apple Ale is allowed to call themselves an Ale? Yes, possibly more.
Which is more offensive to you, the Apple Ale or Strawberry Ale? I'm a sucker for Abita Strawberry Lager. No apple beer has ever impressed me.
I would have echoed this until my brewery ended up with 140 gallons of cider a couple months ago and the brewer incorporated some into a berlinerweiss. Shit was mad tasty. Now that sounds awesome.
Do you pass judgement on the man who orders a Bud Light? Nope, as long as he doesn't pass judgement on me for ordering a coffee stout.
Also, your top 5 favourite US breweries? Every beer I've had from Brewdog I've really enjoyed. I like their style.
Ballast Point.
Lost Abbey.
Southern Tier.
Wicked Weed.
No Cisco. Disappointing. I was hoping you'd rep the NE. ;) Edit: founders breakfast stout and backyard bastard are as good as sex. As good as sex with a last call hog, but I won't claim any beer is as good as sex with the right woman!
Woo, Founders is awesome! Do you have a favorite from them? If you ever find yourself in Michigan, we have an amazing craft beer scene. I had the chance to drink their canadian breakfast stout... blew my mind.
Are you being snarky, or is Blue Moon not "real beer"? Serious question. A bit snarky, but its full of flavoring agents and such instead of like real craft beer: grain, hops, yeast and possibly some spices but they are real spices.
Do you prefer ales or lagers? Both, lagers in summer, ales in spring/wintefall.
What do you think about all the drama going on with BeerAdvocate? (people getting banned for using other websites, how they're the go-to for giving beer ratings that are being used in menus and in stores, how the bros have been acting a bit childish as of later, etc.) I don't go to beeradvocate, sounds like homebrewtalk drama though which I despise so started my own site years ago they charge too much for mediocre beer.
Doctor, help! I was on my way to a big meeting and my pants split because I've been drinking too much beer and outgrew them. WHAT SHOULD I DO?!!?? Lmfao, go fuck yourself is what you should BL.
What's your opinion on Irish stouts? Is there anywhere else creating similar types of drink? My most popular homebrewing recipe online is my irish stout recipe. I LOVE the style when the weather is 70 or below. Sadly, since moving to Florida and being stuck here for now I don't get the proper irish stout weather anymore very often.
There are plenty of American breweries producing irish stouts. I'm not a huge fan of Magic Hat but their seasonal stout is very similar to an irish stout.
One thing people don't realize. Guinness is one of the lowest calorie, dryest and least alcohol beers on the market. It's bone dry but since they carb with beer gas (nitrogen/co2 mixture) it has a thick mouthfeel that tricks you. It's a very light beer technically.
I actually knew that about Guinness. No one here in Ireland believes me when I tell them that :) I'll look up that homebrew recipe, thanks for doing the ama! God I love Ireland, need to get back asap. Best live music experience of my life was in a dank little pub in Dingle.
As someone who knows nothing about beer can you explain some of the different types of beers and what makes them different? Beer is basically malted barley, hops, water and yeast. The yeast eats the malted barley sugars and breaks it down into CO2 and alcohol.
Malted barley can be kilned to caramelize the sugars and depending how long and temperatures and moisture in the barley and many factors the kilning process can produce hundreds of different varieties of malted barley. Some will produce chocolate flavors, some caramel, some toffee, some like raisins, some like honey and on and on. You can also do this to wheat, rye, oats and so on. This provides the brewer with almost limitless potential for flavor. Add in the hundred+ types of hops that have a ridiculous variety of flavors and then all the strains of yeast that produce different flavors at different temperatures, the potential beer you can make is ridiculously varietal.
So you have dark stouts that are chocolaty and roasty, you have dry IPAs that are crisp, refreshing and intensly bitter with resiny, citrusy and/or piney tons. You have brown ales that are simple and inviting with hints of toast or muffins. There is so much out there I really can't list them all.
Isn't there a large contribution from the yeast itself to the flavor profile? If I make the same recipe with drastically different yeast types, say a Belgian yeast and an English Ale yeast, wouldn't the beers come out very differently? Way different. English yeast and american east are usually very subtle if adding anything to the flavor profile. Belgian yeast defines the beer. Also temperature of fermentation effects what flavors the yeast impart big time. Hefeweizen yeast at cooler temps... all clove, warmer temps... all banana.
What differs an IPA from just a pale ale, both in taste and brewing process? More hops.
It's going to be more bitter and often times it has more hop profile overall, so more citrus/floral/pine in the nose and flavor. Also, it will have a bit more alcohol in it.
Wait which one has more hops, the IPA or pale ale? IPA.
Do you agree that Monkeynaut is both the best named beer as well as the best can ever??? The label: Link to That's an alabama brewery right?
Yes. Hunstville. Also opinions on Avondale? Their sour brown, stout, tripel are all good imo. I grew up in Auburn, I thought I remembered seeing that beer when I was there.
I just want a cheap good bear. What are my options? Yuengling is fine, in a can. Green bottles let light through.
I'm a fan of New Belgium shift lagers in a can too. I think you can find it for $12/half case. I get a discount at my bar so not sure of price. I'm a BIG supporter of the new craft beer in a can thing.
Ok - has no one asked yet? What is your opinion on heady topper by the alchemist. Possibly best IPA on the market right now, sad I can't get it in Florida.
Is the first step into becoming a great brewmaster growing a huge beard? Do you have a large beard? I had a massive beard until a week ago. My girlfriend pitched a hissy fit when she walked in on my trimming it down.
Check out that sucker! Was in November: image
So its safe to assume beard = good beer. Assume away!
What are your favorite beers from Michigan (shoutout to /michiganbeer) that are NOT IPA's? Founders breakfast stout.
What do you think is the best beer by country? I'm specifically interested in those out of Belgium, The Netherlands, The USA, The UK and Germany. Belgium: Trappist brews, specifically Westmalle Triple, Rochefort 10, Westvleteren 12 and a big fan of Achouffe Brewery.
Netherlands: Koningshoeven/La Trappe.
Germany: Schlenkerla smoked beers.
UK: Samual Smith Oatmeal Stout mmm.
US: Ballast Point Sculpin IPA.
Sculpin is the best IPA in rotation today, maybe second only to Pliny! San Diegan checking in, good to see that it is getting around. Can't wait til we get cans of it.
Thanks a lot! Time to drink some beer. Also what do you think about La Trappe Quadrupel and beer's with >10% alcohol in general. If done right, I love big, high ABV beers but often times they have too much alcohol heat/taste and it ruins the beer. La Trappe Quad is a work of art.
See I've always thought this was funny. Westy 12 is labeled "the best beer in the world" but no love for St B's abt 12 which is the same recipe and they brewed it for the Westverleteren abbey for years. Exactly.
Are you an actual doctor? A beer doctor, perhaps? The username is a reference to the movie "What About Bob?"
DR. MARVIN, I'M SAILING! Just let the boat do the work.
Do you have an irrational disgust for anything Anheuser-Busch before it even touches your lips like every other craft beer aficionado? No, I'm not a fan of any of their products but if they put out something new that's supposed to be crafty I'll go in with an open mind. Nothing has impressed me, that said, when they released the Budweiser American Ale it was not bad and had a noticible hop presence. Their main line of beers use tons of rice and/or corn in place of barley to make it lighter and flavorless, so if it's a new thing like bud platinum I won't even try it.
Why did you elect to teach instead of working as a contractor to revamp various barestaurants selections? I would imagine the money, and hours, would be better... I don't do it for the money, the money is shit but I do get a great discount since I'm technically an employee. I'm an internet developer and own my own marketing business as a full time job.
In your explorations of beer, what snacks or light foods tend to go with what beers? I accidentally found out that I like salted cucumber slices with Spaten Optimator. The flavor combination is particularly nice. Big fan of cheese & beer pairings. A big IPA with a dank blue cheese is so so good. I like stouts with almonds/cashews and dark dried fruits (raisins, figs).
Up here (Boston) we have beer summits quarterly where you can go, sample shit and mingle with prospective distributors, breweries. Do you have/attend anything like that down in Sarasota? Personally, I love it. I used to all the time, not so much anymore. I love them too! The challenge was figuring out the travel situation as I do not drive after a couple beers.
I love beer myself, but mostly IPA's. I do the occasional stout or bock, but mainly stay the hoppy route. So my main question is, what would your favorite commercially available IPA be, and what would be the worst for you? (think larger chain grocers, etc.) I love the blend of belgian and IPA, check out Houblon Chouffe and Stone's Cali-Belgique.
Worst: Saranac IPA comes to mind.
I know you've had a lot of Cigar City being close to the Brewery, what is your favorite? White Oak Jai Alai is definitely my staple favorite. I do love the Tocobaga out of a can a LOT. All their beers are amazing, never been let down.
I'm a huge fan of Dunkelweizens but have so much trouble finding them! Heffes are a bit too light for my tastes. Are there any Dunkels you'd recommend I try to hunt down? The easiest to find is probably Franziskaner Dunkel. Most big beer stores will carry it and its fantastic.
What sort of things do you teach at beer school? As in, why would I need to take your class? We do pairings.
We do style's classes, pick a style and sample different options that range to different extremes of that style, learn about the nuances that make it what it is and so on.
We have beer nerd show & tell where people bring in something unique and we all sample it while they talk about it, if they don't know anything about it I do my best to help break down what we are tasting and what the style is.
We do private beer schools where a group of 6 can reserve a two hour class where I make up a menu, usually with a theme of some sort and teach them about what we are drinking and why the theme works. Last one I did pairs. Stout & a porter together what makes the styles different. IPA and a Belgian IPA, see what the yeast does to the style by comparing and so on.
Recommend me a craft that I might like please. I hate the hoppy beers, bitter after taste and hate almost anything dark. I have tried close to 10 craft beers (which isnt much) and have given up. I am no beer expert but I think 312 was the only one I somewhat enjoyed. I am a yuengling drinker. Also why do all the hipster craft drinking kids think they are the shit for drinking only crafts? Do you find it ok to drink Busch light or Natty when you are drinking for quantity not quality? Example, if you are playing 20 games of Beer pong and Flip cup are you still drinking crafts? Try a nice amber ale or brown ale. Where do you live? If in Florida, I bet you'd like the Cigar City Madura. Yes, its brown and kind of dark, but it doesn't taste that way. Hipsters are hipsters weather its craft beer, pbr, vinyl or whatever. They take something that's really cool and act like they are the shit for being into it.
I've been big on the cask aged beers lately, despite their high prices. Founders, Bourbon County by Goose Island come to mind as current favorites. Any others you can think of that are worth giving a go? Kentucky Bourbon Barrel Ale is so damn good and they have a few bourbon barrel brews in their line up.
What's the best beer to pair with Mouth Rape Jerky? Link to A das boot of habenero IPA.
Suggestion for a good Trappist ale that's not chimay or duvel? Rochefort 10 is pretty gettable in the states and super good. St bernardus 12 is not a Trappist but it split off from the most amazing brewery in the world that is Trappist, st sixtus.
As someone who is a huge craft beer nerd and would like to start homebrewing, do you have a recommendation on a kit to purchase? Just for the record, from Chicago and love that Lagunitas is opening up here soon. Little Sumpin Sumpin changed how I look at beer! Link to
Have you tried any Vermont beers? I moved here from CA and I was gobsmacked by the diversity and quality of the beers. Beers like the Hill Farmstead selections, Heady Topper, and Switchback. I think many aren't well known simply because the breweries keep the beer mostly in Vermont. Heady topper could be the best IPA ont eh market right now.
My question to you is what are some other beers that are very simple, but very well made?
It's seems in my region that an IPA is the signature beer of the brewery. If I were to open a brewery would you suggest a different style of beer or try to one up the others? Any up and coming breweries I should watch for in the NW region? IPA is the American staple craft beer right now. If you open a brewery, you must have an IPA. That said, some breweries are getting away with having a big stout as their staple, but only in colder climates. Novelty beers can be a good staple as well such as a barrel aged this or that with coco and chilis addedd and so on.
Do you have any qualifications like BJCP, Cicerone, Siebel etc, and what do you think of those programs? Nope. I think they are cool but ask try submitting a beer to a homebrew comp. Every single BJCP judge will give you feedback that is different from the others. It's such a trivial thing I never submit to comps anymore.
My favorite is Flying Dog's Imperial Porter. What else should I try? If you can get your hands on a baltic porter do it, they are big porters that are lagered, very interesting style. Baltic Thunder by Victory Brewing Company should be accessible.
I recently enjoyed a Goose Island Bourbon County Stout on tap. Delicious, spectacular aroma, but at an in-your-face14.2% ABV, I was only able to tolerate small sips, and in the end, I was unable to finish it. No worries though, I donated it to the drunks at the next table, who gleefully chugged it! My wife was amazed to see me "defeated" by a beer. What are your thoughts about this amazing stout? I love it but can only drink a snifters worth if I'm trying to be a human the following day.
What do you see the next evolution in beer being? It's happening right now, everyone is switching to cans for craft beer. It's amazing and I love it.
Used to live by Blue Point Brewing on Long Island, any thoughts on Blue Point? Really like their toasted lager and hoptical illusion. Both of those beers are regulars in my drinking line up.
I'm a complete beer noob/casual drinker but was looking for advice from someone who knows what's up because I want to get into beers. I mainly drink hefeweizens (Weihenstephaner, Franziskaner), though I do like some other beers like the not-so-respected Blue Moon types. There's much more to try out there though. Try some belgian ales, they are a step up in complexity from hefeweizens but similar.
Forgive me if I'm using the wrong terms, but I've REALLY tried to get into this IPA craze but the taste when it hits my tongue is just...unpleasant. I've probably tried like 40 different IPAs at beer festivals. Is it hops that I don't like? You won't like any IPAs if you don't enjoy the bitterness. My ex-wife said they all tasted like soap.
Deer professor... What do you think about homebrew wine??? I make applehooch all the time!
Homebrew question for you then, I just started my first batch (a bock) a couple weeks ago and then had to leave unexpectedly, I'm bottling it wednesday but was never able to move it from the primary fermenter to the Carboy. At this point it's sat in the primary fermenter longer than I'd have had it split between the two (little over 2 weeks), what are the odds the batch is salvageable? I never use a secondary, its really not necessary unless you are going for a super clear beer. I know about 10 homebrewers are going to read this and curse me for saying that. Come over to my forum and we can give you the full rundown Link to
Favorite beer from the New England area? Kegging.
Do you prefer bottling or kegging? Better bottle.
Glass carboy or plastic better bottle? Heady Topper from Vermont.
Ever have any funny stories of homebrews getting infected or failing? I've had multiple spots on my ceilings from beers fermenting and blowing off the airlock and shooting foam up.
How many times have you brewed the Vanilla caramel cream Ale and which is your favorite variation? 23 times and I prefer the mixture of 5 different aged variations I had blended together and sucked up through my butthole.
I personally prefer to add a sprinkle of cheese to each of my batches. I also ferment each batch in a dirty pothole, its as close as possible to the founders true recipe. I agree completely.
I bought a kit to homebrew from Do you know anything about them? It should be arriving in the next few days and my boyfriend and I are going to try our hand at home brewing. Have an specific tips when using a kit? Never used that site. you will want to join a homebrewing community to get answers to your questions cause there will be a lot. I own Link to
Opinion on lambics? Personally I can't stomach them. They are definitely an acquired taste in my experience... Love them, best way to ease into them is to start with Lindemann's Framboise. It's backsweetened and has almost none of the tart/sour that a true Lambic has. Next go to Boon, then if you can get into that dive into some of the crazy sours and lambics out there.
Could you offer any advice on someone young who is interested in getting into the craft beer scene as a career? Start bartending at a beer pub. You need experience. I was offered a job with a craft distributor just because they got to know me well at the pub I worked at.
How do you feel about shipyard's pumpkinhead or smashed pumpkin? My favorite Halloween seasonal being the later... Pumpkinhead is good, smashed pumpkin is fucking awesome, smashed blueberry is over the top good.
What, in your professional opinion, are the top 5 beer towns in America? What do you think makes these towns great beer towns? Oregon.
San Diego.
The type of people that live there and the culture that's been there since before craft beer.
Is that true drinking beer from plastic cup is unhleathy (alcohol doesn't affect to plastic)? I doubt it, but I've never done any research on the topic. That said, beer is best drunk from glass or I even like craft beer right out of the can.
What regions in the US do you think are producing great craft beer right now? Any areas that you think have promise? PNW and Cali, although new england is catching up and thanks to Cigar City there is huge growth in Florida right now.
What's your opinion on Spotted Cow and the rest of the New Glarus beers? Link to Dig em all.
What is your favorite imperial ipa? I tried hopsickle the other day and was quite impressed. Thoughts? Sixpoint Resin comes to mind.
This is a really awesome AMA, thanks for doing this! I'm a college student and as such mostly drink cheaper beer from the big name breweries to save money but I do enjoy craft beer when I decide to spend a little more. Thing is, I don't know anything about the differences between ales, lagers, stouts, etc. Do you know of a good place for me to start to learn more about the basics of the different types of beers in an easy to understand format? Link to
Beer drinker on a budget, what's your low cost preference? Shift lager in a can from new belgium.
This may come down to individual taste bud differences, but a craft-beer loving buddy and myself share this annoyance, and I thought I'd ask! We encounter, in some craft beers, what we have come to describe as a "buttery" flavor that is unpleasant. It's a bit chemically, to me. That may not be enough to nail it down, but it's the best I can offer! Can you think of anything that could cause that? Buttery comes from the chemical diacetyl. It's a natural chemical found in barley but is usually boiled off during the brewing process. Some beers are supposed to have a touch of it as part of the style, specifically certain craft lagers. Some say it tastes like creamed corn.
Hey, I'm a huge fan of the Belgian strong ales and have gone well out of my way to try some of the ones that are harder to get. I loved the Westvleteren XII, and IMO it was worth what I had to pay to get it. Not discounting any of the other great beers (Scaldis Prestige De Nuits was absolutely worth the price to me as well), do you think the Westy XII lives up to it's hype? Depends on the year, but yes. The collectors edition ones that came out weren't that amazing but they may be after age, 3 years is its best time to try.
2007 west 12 drunk in 2011 was the absolute best beer I've ever had in my life.
My favorite beers are hoppy in flavor (without too much mouth pucker) but fairly lite in body. These beers are plentiful on the west coast. What east coast beer would you recommend that fits this flavor profile? That's tough since East Coast style IPAs are about having some body under the hops. I prefer west coast style as well. Southern Tier's IPA lines out of NY are pretty close to WC style though.
How much did you have to publish to earn tenure? I did used to right beer articles for the bar when I first started hanging out there that were published in our local newspaper.
Darklord...worth the hype that the brewery builds around it? Not worth the hype, that said, three floyds beers are all fantastic. Huge fan of gumballhead.
I'm in Tampa. Can you please pull some strings and get anything Tröegs shipped down here? Goddamn I wish, the old owner of my pub used to get some shipped down here on occasion.
My 21st is coming up this year and I want my first beer to be an Irish one. Any suggestions? Guinness.
Had some guys at my bar drinking all sorts of crazy rare shit and one of them declared, "I'm so over Cantillon" I dunno.. beer hipsters? Unfortunately every subculture has shit like this. Over cnatillion? lmao, retards.
Doing so would make us hypocrites. We've all been there... There is a beer nerd scene right now that makes me sick to my stomach. Pompous, dicks passing judgement on everyone, looking down their nose at people that don't understand the difference in an ale and a lager. They bring a bad vibe to lots of craft beer pubs.
I love how the person with the most right to be a "beer snob" speaks out against this. They're just so damn irritating!
The wine market would be much healthier without such people. It'll be a shame if the beer market ends up in the same boat. Agreed.
What is a popular craft beer that you just can't stand. This won't be a popular replly. Dogfish head anything. I like their 60 minute, that's about it. A couple others are palettable but their beers are over the top and way too boozy. I think people who are really into them, like praise everything they put out, are more into it for the novelty more than anything. The 120 minute is just hard to drink.
That said, I highly respect Sam Caliogne (spelling?). He's a good dude and is willing to try some crazy stuff for the art of beer.
Edit: I do really like their Theobrama (chili/chocolate beer)
You're just not off-centered enough to enjoy it. ;-) Seriously, though, I tend to agree with you about DFH, except for their Indian Brown Ale. Man, that's stuff's good. IBA is a solid beer, good call.
90min is my utility ipa. 60 is too hoppy, 120 has the consistency of cough syrup. 90 is a solid middle ground... 90 is solid, but its a bigtime east coast style IPA and I'm a west coast IPA fan myself. I like the dryness in west coast style that really pushes the hoppyness and bitterness to an extreme.
I'd like to point out, as someone who has sampled quite a few of his beers, the Professor is a very talented homebrewer and deeply knowledgeable on that subject also. Well thank you sir! I believe I need to pick up a growler from you still :)
Give me your best recipe for homebrewers. This my most popular: Link to
Difference in alcohol content Presence of roasted malt Partigyle (big beer as stout, small beer as porter) Stout uses unmalted roasted barely, is usually simple in flavor profile and pushes the roasted almost burnt flavors to the front. Porter has more wiggle room and has lest burnt/roast and more toast/toffee/chocolate. Traditionally does not use roasted unmalted barley.
Last updated: 2014-01-11 15:07 UTC
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2012.09.19 09:09 tabledresser [Table] IAmA: IAM Kelly Ogden, bassist/singer in the band The Dollyrots. We're in a van driving across the US on tour. AMA!

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Date: 2012-09-18
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Questions Answers
Hi Ms. Ogden, I'm a big fan and kickstarter backer, thanks for doing an AMA and congrats on the new album.It's so great ya'll were able to get that out on your own. Do the Dollyrots take up all your time, or do you have a day job? If so, what do you do when you're not touring or recording? "A Little Messed Up" was so peppy and upbeat, compared to songs about wreckage, cheating boyfriends and mass extinctions. Was that the direct result of finding someone special in your life, or were you just in a more upbeat place when you wrote it? Usually The Dollyrots = my every waking minute but in-between records money can get really low. I've been helping out with A&R at Daisy Rock Guitars most recently. Best "job" ever. 2.HA. It's so strange but I'm not really sure where it all comes from. It can be my life, family, something happening in the World, another song, a book... After "Because I'm Awesome" I think I felt a little more at ease with my decision to be a musician. That was such a fun time for the band... touring galore, tv spots, and "livin the dream mannn."
Since you guys struck out on your own for this album, what has been the hardest part of not having a record label? For instance, were there certain things the label took care of for you (promoting the album, booking shows) that you have to do on your own now? What have been the major pros/cons of doing this album alone? Well it was the hardest but most satisfying thing I've ever done. I think the Kickstarter mailing was the hardest part. My apartment looked like semi truck of merch exploded in it for months! BUT the response from the fans has been worth every sleepless night and paper cut. Labels definitely have their place. We wouldn't have been able to do this without the experience of being on labels and learning how it all works. The best part was the freedom to do whatever we wanted at every step without having to convince anyone but ourselves.
Do you think an independent label move is sustainable for experienced bands such as yours? Could you invision a self-directed label as your new identity? Many big artists have followed this route to success including Dolly Parton, Ani DiFranco, Prince, Public Enemy and of course, Black Flag's SST or Dischord Records to name a few! Perhaps: Quito Records? I think it's the only sustainable option for us. By retaining ownership we can actually make a living. Hopefully. We released it under Arrested Youth Records and RED is distributing it. If this actually works we'll be ready to do it again in about a year or so! Quito Records!
Kelly, Who are your favorite bass players (past or present), and who has influenced you the most, musically speaking. What do you like to read while you are out on the road? Fave books? You're an awesome role model for young women, aaand you give the best hugs of any musician I've ever received. Fav bassists: Kim Deal, Chris Novoselic, Erik Chandler, Kim Gordon, Lemmy, Dee Dee Ramone, John Fields. Books: anything I'm given along the way. Really. We have to pack light so I can't really bring books. I'll start with one and trade along the way usually. I love fantasy, the classics, and rock books of course. THANK YOU! I do my beast.
On the Road by Jack Kerouac. You tore out the pages and put them in the kickstarter packages of random stuff. :-) Yes I did! Hope you got a good page!
Are you doing an ama because you're awesome?Also what were the pros and cons of your kickstarter? Uh, like, totally. ;) Kickstarter pros: Learned people actually like what we do. Control of the whole album process. I got to send out tons of bits of myself (including locks of hair, maybe I'll get cloned!) to people who care. I feel like I got a lot closer to our fan base. Now they're more like friends. It was really cool to have them be involved from the start instead of just getting the record once it's finished. Kickstarter cons: SPREADSHEET FROM HELL. It was tough to know the cost vs profit margins on things so we ended up spending a lot more than we planned on shipping. I haven't seen my friends in months and if I did I always had to leave to do Kickstarter stuff. But would I do it again... not sure. By the time it's time again I bet I will forget about all the tough stuff.
Without a label, the spreadsheet from hell sounds like great demographic research. Do you ever sort by zip code to see where to plan your tour dates? That would be really smart but the address field is one cell. There MUST be a way! We just throw pins at a map.
You're soooper hot, but you've only done a couple of sexy cheesecake photoshoots in your whole career. And a line from the new album is "You're a porn star, rock star / six of one, half-dozen of the other!" So I don't know what my question is, but it's something about sexiness in music these days. What do you think? Did it ever used to just be about the music, man, or has T&A always been around? Ha. Well thanks. Rock n Roll = sex. I mean literally... there's no question about that. It's how it's used that gets weird for women. I mean Iggy Pop can writhe around topless and it's totally cool but Kathleen Hannah takes off her top and it's totally different. We've all just gotta do what feels right to us. Rock n roll is freedom. If I want to take my clothes off and run into the North Sea and let people take photos (insert true story guy) that shouldn't really matter.
Pics or it didnt happen ;) I'm sure someone has them! You might need to wait for Scotland to wake up. It was in Aberdeen.
What's up with all the drummers in the Dollyrots? Is it you or Luis? HHAAHA! It's a tough life being in a band... most of the drummers have decided it was just time to move on &/or grow up. It's hard to have relationships and I said it before but it's really unstable financially. It's not for everyone. AND Luis and I have been friends since we were kids so inevitably we're kind of a pair. That's gotta be hard since we like to keep it a three-piece.
Who is your favorite band of all time? and who inspired you to play bass? You'd think I'd finally have an answer for this but no... how about top 3? Against Me, Beatles, Breeders. Kim Deal did it. edit: fer spellin good.
Kelly! The new album is really fantastic. When you switched from an academic path to one of punk rock, what are some of the initial goals you set for yourself and what are some unexpected difficulties you never expected you'd run into? Thanks! I'm pretty proud of it! The first goal was to get to Los Angeles, and get a record deal. From where I came from (90's kid in FL) that was the most logical first step. The next goal was to get on the road. Then NO DAY JOB! I think the hardest part has been not giving up when it gets tough. Usually those moments come on the road after no sleep, too many drinks and the loneliness kicks in. Sometimes when we're in the songwriting mode it can get really hard too... Luis and I have been writing together for over 10 years but there's still a lot of emotion and tugging put into every song. Being a musician is also REALLY financially unstable. But I expected that.
Which one of you does the most driving? I know there is someone who can't drink that ends up driving. Hope fully that isn't you. When you guys coming to Phoenix, Az? THANKS! Luis does a lot of the driving during the day but we tr to bring a tour managedriver for the nights. We like boooze!
I would be nervous if Luis was driving. He looks like he could have fits of road rage. haha. He's actually a really calm dude when he's not strapped to a guitar!
Hi Kelly! What's the meaning behind "Promised Call"? I love the song, but I feel like it's about more than waiting for a call from a crush. Most of our songs start in one place and morph to include other ideas as it grows. That one is definitely about pining over someone but it's also a little snapshot of my life at the time. It was college... veggi dogs and midnight trips to Wal-Mart. Sarasota FL. Side note... Luis and I actually applied to be night time shelf stockers at that Wal-mart and never got a call.
They probably saw where you guys went to college and decided it wasn't worth it to hire a couple of New College troublemakers. That, or the manager didn't want to hire people with IQs double his/hers. Both!
Being such an awesome role model, and having experience in LA's music scene, what's the best piece of advice you've been given by your mentors (or from where ever) for young women interested in a music career? In a related note, how can I, as a father, raise/encourage/support a kickass, punk rock daughter like yourself? Awww thanks Jesse. I've had a lot of great advice. I think there's this idea that it's all really catty but to be honest the good stuff has far outweighed the dumb stuff. Joan Jett told me to just work at my craft and be myself. That's pretty much it. I try not to worry about trends or about what other people think which is a little tricky when it comes to the whole role model thing. It's a blurry little line.. the rock n roll life and being someone young girls can look up to. But I'm grateful. It keeps me inspired.
What's the hardest part of touring? The diarrhea. Seriously. I still get nervous every show. There are hundreds of girls who found themselves in the bathroom right before I was about to play that can attest to this. Hey. Everybody poops. Link to
Can I tell people that I was in your band but I was too punk rock so you had to kick me out? Hell yeah. Here's a pic of me and you for proof. Link to
What was the inspiration behind your favorite self-composed song(s)? Out of LA... Kim Deal bass line and the road. Tour is such a bittersweet experience. Such extreme ups and downs.
What is your most favorite and least favorite dollyrot song? Most favorite: Twist Me to the Left Least Favorite: it's hard. they're like my children. My least favorite one to play live is Om Nom Nom... can't get it right!
Any funny tour stories about other bands? This is always tricky... what to spill... Well I terrified Joan Jett in San Diego once after I split my head open and ran past her covered in blood as she was walking up to the stage. The Buzzcocks had a Boston CD in their bus and Diggle would do a "More Then A Feeling" sing along every night (Pete hated it) and we'd all scream the lyrics to "Smells Like Teen Spirit." When they toured with Nirvana Kurt told them it was the same song. And Bowling for Soup... every night is full of stories with them. One night in the front of the bus a few of the dudes plucked out each others pubes with pliers and tried to fill a water bottle. Another night we stopped at a 24hour Wal Mart and I bought a slingshot and paint balls. We then went outside and shot each other in the back. BAD IDEA. Here's mine: Link to ANd we're in a van with Prima Donna right now. 1st show is tonight. !0 minutes ago I started yelling for the driver to pull over because I thought we blew a tire... turns out it was Kepi Ghoulie's song Rock n Roll Shark.
Will you Have a waffle with me? Can it be at a Waffle House?
Of course what self respecting performer gets waffles anywhere else? How do you waffle at the house? plain, berry, or pecan? I like plain with a lot of butter and a little syrup. 2 eggs over medium and grits wiyth LOTS of salt and pepper on the side.
I with ya, except the grits, i have to get hash brown smothered and covered. preferred beverage go! Now I'm hungry!
Hi kelly! i am a big fan of your band, but mostly a big fan of your dog. :) So would you rather fight one luis-sized quito or 100 quito-sized luises? TERRIFYING OPTIONS! Luis isn't that big so one Luis' sized Quito it is.
A luis-sized quito would certainly be a cuter way to die, but imagine the amplified effect of a luis-sized quito's expressed anal glands...still sticking with your answer?? AHHH worst dumpster behind a sushi place in The Valley on a 108 degree summer day. Sticking with my answer. I'm almost used to it.
You don't want it G rated, so can we talk about sex? If so, just curious, does a long tour kill a girl's appetite? If it doesn't then how does that itch get scratched? Yes, I like mixing metaphors :) Hahaha. That kinda sounds gross. Definitely don't scratch a girl down there. It depends... I mean I get REALLY tired but we're all just animals right?
Saw you guys so many times in the early days at places like Mr T's and The Echo. It's great to see you still going strong. Do you stay in touch wi any LA bands from that era? And what the hell was up with 8-Bit's live shows? Kinda amazing, but also entirely baffling. I LOVE 8-Bit! They were so crazy and the songs were so catchy awesome Nintendo dancy good. We keep in touch with almost all those bands. There's actually a documentary that Dave (one of the drummers in the Kiss or Kill Scene made and when it premiered last year it really brought us all together. Here's the trailer if you wanna go back in time... Link to
I was thinking about building a swimming pool in my backyard shaped like a rabbit. Do you think I can wear a witches hat after halloween? Can we fill the pool with peeps? And witches hats are always in style. How is that even a question?
How come i never feel satisfied after eating a snickers candy bar? Because it's not bacon.
Hey guys, I played in a band called Gertie Fox. We rocked a few shows with you guys at Mr. T's Bowl in Highland Park many years ago. Glad to see you guys are still at it. I miss getting in the van and touring. Anyway, do you think there is still a true DIY scene out there across the country? Or is indie rock just another label for people to categorize music? Anyhow, keep rocking! Hey! You guys were great! I think it's actually easier to be a DIY band now. I think the label indie rock has become more about a sound than an ethic. Kinda like what happened to "Alternative" music in the 90's. With social networking, TuneCore, Bandcamp and fundraising platforms like Kickstarter if there are people who want your music it's not hard to get it to them. Even if you don't tour or have a distro deal you can still get music to people for almost free!
Is Kelly Dollyrot married or in a long term relationship? If not, is she open to random proposals from rabid fans? I love proposals regardless of my status!
So were you born awesome or did some event in your life make you awesome? Huge fan of you guys, you rocked at the Bootleg when I saw you weeks ago. It was awesome to meet you and everything. I come from awesome... my family is amazing. They're not musical but they've always encouraged me to be myself and do whatever I'm passionate about. Even if they think it's crazy. Picking up a guitar was probably a major turning point. And happy to rock you.
If you had only primitive weapons, and had to fight a dinosaur to the death in a "Dinosaur Death Match", what is the biggest dinosaur you think you could defeat? You don't have to give a specific dinosaur, just give us a general size. Also you can't set traps. No traps huh... Pure physical strength? I could take a big one if the scales were rough and I could scurry up it's back and get to the neck. If I were to kill anything I'd want it to be fast and as painless as possible you know. I could take a triceratops from below. I just hopped on a Sinclair dinosaur at the gas station... good timing.
Would you rather fight one horse sized duck or 50 duck sized horses? Also, if you even have them, do you plan to release the rest of the green demo songs? HA! I've been bitten by a bird and a horse. 50 duck sized horses! Beaks hurt! But I don't really want to fight. Can I just pet the duck sized horse?
Boring question but what do your family think of what you do. I only ask because after 10 years and 4 albums you guys haven't really "hit it big". EDIT: Extra question, what's your opinion on the popular pop-punk scene (All Time Low, You Me At Six etc)? Also, I can't wait to see you in October. I know it's been hard on them. We're really close... my parents, my sister and me. When we moved to CA I cried the whole way and wanted to go home the first 2 years but I really felt like I had to do this. I think they get it now. When we were on CSI:NY I think they relaxed a little. They come to shows and I told them Dublin was my favorite place to play so... they're going to Dublin in October to see us play! (This is huge, my parent's are not really travelers!) It must be really hard as a parent to see your child throw away a safe successful career in Biology to move across the country to be in a rock band. Edit: missed last part... For better or worse I really don't follow that scene. I listen to bands we meet along the way that I love and still love the music I listened to when I was a kid. That's probably why we end up playing with Buzzcocks, Go Gos, Bowling for Soup, the Breeders etc... And we've never really felt welcome in that scene for whatever reason. I NEVER read comments on PunkNews if that means anything to you.
These have all been such tame questions for an AMA! my question: do you ever fantasize about me? Finally! I do sometimes fantasize about something weirder...
I knew it. Link to
Is Chris Burney as funny in person as he is on Twitter? Also, did you fuck him? Please tell me you fucked Chris. I'm a guy. I would fuck Chris. Yes he is. He is one of the funniest people I have ever known. And not yet. I'm hoping I'll get lucky on the UK tour.
Kelly, Popbang Radio has been playing you guys non stop since we heard "Kick Me To The Curb". You have a ton of internet and college radio support, but do you ever get frustrated that corporate radio hasn't really caught on to you guys yet? Nah. I'd rather be a working band for a long time than a one hit wonder. If it happened now we might gain a bunch of fair weather fans for a little while but it'll be the real ones we make music for down the road that still support us.
Kelly, what is the set list like for this tour? Mostly new stuff, a pretty even mix of old and new? How long is the show? Bonus Question: thong or boy briefs? Something like Hyperactive, New College, I Wanna Go, Brand New Key, Satellite, Interaction, Twist Me to the Left, Because I'm Awesome, Starting Over Again, Beach Boy, and a few others here and there. It's about 40 mins most nights. It'll be a little shorter in the UK. And it depends on the outfit and the mood. Both. ;)
HA! I've been bitten by a bird and a horse. 50 duck sized horses! Beaks hurt! But I don't really want to fight. Can I just pet the duck sized horse? Oops... Green Demo question... I figure we'll release a record of our favorite demos and rare recordings eventually. There are a ton of them.
Hey Kelly! Thanks so much for doing this, you and Luis are both so awesome. 2 questions: What's your favourite blink-182 songs? What's a band or song you like that most people would not expect? Thanks! Nice user name! Dammit and Small Things. Unexpected... Louis Jordan.
Hey! I'm Kathryn! First off, your new album kicks ass! I dig the subtle use of some synths. To start with the questions... Are those synths? or some of Luis' crazy pedals? I'm a guitarist, mostly focused on blues, funk and rock but I'm trying to get myself to sing! How can i transition my voice from uncut bluesy style to a rockish style, which I aim for!? Also, any tips on how to write impersonal songs (lyrics) to start out that sound good and are just FUN to perform? How can prevent nervousness singing!? I've been a guitarist with no nerves for a while but vocally its totally different! Finally... what are the chords for Hyperactive? Did you change the key in the single version from the demo version? Im confused! hehe :D thanks Kelly! You rock. You're one of those motivating rocker chicks that inspires me do to anything I want musically and everywhere esle! Thanks! WHEN ARE YOU COMING TO ARIZONA?! <3. Hey! Those are synths all right! We've always stayed away from them because we were worried about the songs working live but not this time! If we heard a melody we stuck it in there! We decided live shows are just that and we can do whatever we want with the recordings. As far as singing just keep writing and you'll find your voice. I'm not sure how you start but I find if I just play a riff and make grunts or hum along to it words come out. Don't over think it and you'll probably get some pretty silly stuff. As far as nerves go... I still haven't figured it out. I usually have A LITTLE something to drink. But not too much or you'll be dried out and end up just yelling. (Trust me, I've learned the hard way.) And I'm not sure if we changed Hyperactive. It's possible... Intro: C A F C Verse: C G F C PRE: F G Chorus: C G F C C A F C And hopefully I'll see youon our way back West after the UK in November. Keep at it! You're gonna be awesome.
Oh, I'm familiar!! What is the best show you've ever played, and why? (crowd?Venue?city? etc) Thanks! I think my favorite ever was Dublin at The Academy in October 2010 with Bowling for Soup, A and Forever the Sickest Kids. I've never played in a city for the first time and had a crowd know so many words and be so enthusiastic. It was so awesome my family is flying there for the show Oct 18th.
Love yall. Just one question. When are yall going to come play Austin Tx? Maybe on our way home from the East Coast after the UK Tour... That would be November. If not then really soon I'm sure. SXSW at the latest.
Hey thanks for the AMA. Honestly this is the first I've heard of you but I respect anyone with the balls to leave everything behind and chase their dreams. Anyways, I've been playing music (drums) as a hobby for about 8 years. I'd love to pursue it as a career. What are some must-haves before committing to music full time? Got any tips for living life on the road (saving money, staying sane)? Is this a dream you can pursue from Small Town, USA or should someone look look into moving to a major music hub? Thanks! Just do it! You'll have no choice but to make it work. Learn to cook... that will save you loads of money. frugal is great for general tips too. The sanity part is tricky I figure it's like anyone who is self-employed. You just never really feel totally secure. But that's the trade off. You've gotta do what makes your life good every day. And I really think most musicians can do this anywhere they can find a band or people they feel inspired by. The internet really changed things... when we started out there was no such thing as Social Networking so it made a lot of sense to move to LA but now... not so important. Any one else have input? I only know my story so... :)
Have you ever done anythign on stage that you looked back on and thought wow that was crazy? A couple times... we were opening for the Breeders one night and I got into a car accident right before it. I had to get my head stapled shut and must've had a bit of a concussion or something because I totally Blacked out in the middle of a song. Another time we were at the Triple Rock in Minneapolis and I had a huge delicious veggie meatloaf meal, then too much whiskey, then the band before us turned ALL THE LIGHTS off and played with 3 strobe lights going off. I don't know what happened but I puked and felt really really weird. I have no recollection of the show and ended up splitting my finger open so I was covered in a blood stripe from my left ear to my right toes. And one time... I mooned the crowd in Philly.
All that other stuff does seem crappy but mooning the crowd makes for an automatic awesome show, had to be lucky to be in the crowd that day! Oh.. it's on the internet. I'm sure you can find it.
Why didn't you use Hanley's song? Reigning Monarchs, Red Car and you guys.. what would it take to make that happen? Sweetconfusion... you've got me confused! We did use the Hanley/USA Mike song on the album... FU Famous. Is that what you mean? And it's awesome when you get to meet and work with the people you've looked up to. We're always game.
I remember being on vacation one year in 2004. A friend of mine and I met this girl who was staying in a room near ours and she introduced me to you guys. First song I heard was Kick Me to the Curb, and my favorite would have to be your cover of Brand New Key. As for my questions, do you do your own makeup or do you have someone else who does? Also, what would your favorite makeup brand be? Aaaand, would you knit me an awesome scarf? haha. Nice! I'm grateful to that girl! AS far as make-up goes sometimes I have someone do it for photo shoots and big shows but 90% of it is my doing for better or worse. I have crappy skin so I've gotten great at the concealefoundation combo move and my method with eyes is just keep putting black on and it'll look cool! No real brand loyalty... I like Mac, Stella, Nars, Revlon, whatever! And keep an eye on my Etsy page /prettypunkshop. Seems like you guys want scarves so I'll get to work. xo!
Hmm... my booze to Hanley ratio is usually pretty high, so I might be mis-remembering. I thought they wrote a song for 'A Little Messed Up.' Shrug, that's what I get for not talking to people as often as I should. How is Quito(sp?) Ahhh... we wrote FU Famous on the new album (The Dollyrots) with Kay and Mike! Quito is great. Sitting on the back bench next to me rolling through the Rockies.
What is it like working with Bowling For Soup and Patent Pending so much? And why did you choose to cover The Bitch Song and Little Miss Impossible on One Big Happy? P.S. Thanks for following me back on twitter! It's like having a rock n roll family. That's one of the best parts of all of this. You make such strong bonds along the way. Life long friends. And picking those songs was easy... just did our favorites! You got it!
Hmmm...question... What city/state/country would you like to live in if you were to move from LA (and Florida)? Tricky Whit! I fantasized about moving to Dingle, Ireland when I visited. Minneapolis always seems like a good idea then we go in winter and it's -8 degrees.
KELLY! I miss you and I can't wait to see you SOOON! ;) I just wanted to tell you that the new album IS AMAZING and it hasn't stopped blasting out of my car speakers! The most serious question I can think to ask right now is : What inspires you to do what you do? Also...favorite color? Hmmm. <3. HOORAY! You and everyone else who likes it. I will do this as long as people care. and GREEN! When I was a kid I wanted a pink bike but my parents got me a green one... now it's my favorite. I GOT A BIKE!
how much Taco Bell do you eat? We eat Taco Bell almost every single day on tour. Seriously.
Nah, just bars so far. Here are some pics! Do you have an idea for a design? I can't make them in time for tonight's show (welcome to colorado!!) but I'd be happy to send it on! COOOL! Our logo? Screeching Quito? Link to
How many people tell you they give kids your music? I have both me nieces, ages 7 & 10, singing "Because I'm Awesome" Lots... it's a little weird... because it's not REALLY kids music but it works. I mean I was singing some really weird stuff along to the radio when I was a kid. Like 2 live crew.
Who has more tattoos? Kelly, Luis or Quito? I do... with a whopping 1! I did a crescent moon on my ankle myself when I was 17. It's pretty faded now.
Kelly! You are the reason I picked up bass! It was awesome meeting you at warped tour 08, Carson I think... We drew mustaches on Katy Perry's album. Do you have any odd pre-show rituals? Oh yeah!!! And wow! I bet you're better than me by now! My pre-show ritual starts 45 mins before and goes a little something like this: 2 whiskeys, then diarrhea, vocal warm ups, a beer and general freak outs about having a set list, people not being on the guest list when they should be and whether people are actually showing up. VERY glamorous.
Well, I believe most fans would like to know...who was your favorite Mormon girlfriend in high school? Liz of course!!! Is this you?
What was/is it like playing with bowling for soup? As fun and awesome as you could ever imagine. They're great guys and there's no ego, bullshit, or drama. It's really just One Big Happy family. ;)
when are you guys coming back to tulsa?! Maybe on our way back from the East Coast in November.. if not then SOOON!
Kelly, when you come back to PGH can we sup dudes? OH PLEASE! I miss suppin' dudes with you! Sept 27th. We'll be suppin dudes together!
If "most of us" are not familiar with the band, why the fuck would we be interested in asking you anything? Are you familiar with music? I might know a few things about playing it, writing it, touring if you're interested. If not thanks for the Link to ;)
Hey Kelly, what is your favorite cereal? As a treat? Cinnamon Toast Crunch. What I eat, Kashi Go Lean.
Heyo Kelly, kickstarter backer here. How many times do you think you have seen Shawshank Redemption? Broccoli, or snap peas? And the most awful question ever...when ya coming back to Tempe? Hey Andy! I made you a scarf! Never seen Shawshank (but I've never seen a LOT of movies). Snap Peas for sure... I have a crappy thyroid so I'm supposed to avoid cruciferous veggies. And SOOON!
Now that you've been lasered, is there anything else you could possibly want?? Cloned!
Saw you guys the last two times you played at Alex's Bar in LBC, so yeah thanks for that! Since I have to ask a question though, i'll ask... when are ya'll coming back to Alex's? Of course!
Last updated: 2012-09-23 06:56 UTC
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